back to the West situation. He just walks with you? Never actually says anything?”
I set my phone aside before nodding. “Yep, we just walk, and it’s weird as hell,” I answer. “And annoying as hell.”
“And maybe… kind of sweet? Maybe?” Jules adds sheepishly.
When I shoot her a death glare, her expression goes blank. “Please.”
“I mean, I know what he did was the dick-move of all dick-moves, but maybe he’s genuinely sorry. Or maybe there’s more to the story than meets the eye? But that’s something you won’t know until you hear him out.”
I stretch out on my bed beside her, facing the twinkling lights above. This had been her advice lately, to actually let West speak. You know, instead of cutting him off before he even gets started, which has been my only approach to conversation when it comes to him.
“You’re only saying that because you haven’t lived through what I’ve lived through with him,” I explain with a sigh. “West is dark, he’s manipulative, capable of anything. He got me to let my guard down, and then made me pay for it.”
She turns to the side and rests her head on her fist. Her stare lands on me before speaking. “Run me through it again,” she says. “You showed up at his room and that Parker bitch was in his bed naked, right?”
She draws a quiet laugh out of me with the exaggeration.
“She wasn’t naked, but might’ve been if I got there a few seconds later,” I correct her.
“Details, details. Then what happened?”
I think back and close my eyes. “She got pissed, grabbed her things, then stormed off.”
“Did she say anything on her way out?”
My brow tenses. “Don’t remember.”
Truth is, so much about that night is a blur now. Maybe because I’m trying to forget it.
“So, she was the only other person in the room besides you two?”
I shrug when Jules asks. “Unless someone was there before or after, but yeah, she was the only other person I know for sure was in the room.”
“Which means it’s also possible she did some shady shit. Not West.”
I sigh, not wanting to think about it. “For all I know, Jules, they set me up together.”
“I’d agree with you on that if he didn’t put her ass out like you described. That doesn’t sound like a partnership. Sounds like a bitter girl trying desperately to sleep her way back into her ex’s life.”
My eyes are fixed on the ceiling still, and I see what Jules is trying to do. She wants me to consider all possibilities, wants me to cave and hear West out, but there’s no need.
“There are all kinds of holes in your theory,” I say. “If Parker did it, and West got blamed, he would’ve ratted her out without question. And let’s not forget how I was dismissed from his room when he was done with me.”
This conversation isn’t great for my ego, but Jules is probably the only person in the world I’d talk so candidly with about it.
“Maybe it was an accident,” is her final plea. “Maybe he was recording you two, but more so for his personal collection. You know, his spank bank or whatever. And, somehow, the footage got leaked and spread around.”
I can’t help but to laugh at ‘spank bank’.
“Again, pretty sure he wouldn’t have kicked me out if that night meant anything to him. Like, at all.”
I feel her staring still, even before she speaks up again.
“It meant something to you, though,” she observes. “Didn’t it?”
I don’t bother responding, because we both know the answer anyway. I don’t go there, intimately, with guys unless my heart is somewhere in the mix. With West, there were a lot of emotions tangled together all at once, but when I finally gave in to him, that’s the moment I knew it was more than physical for me.
“Doesn’t really matter,” is the only answer I give, turning my back to her because my eyes are watering again.
As far as disasters go, West had done a number on me, on my heart, and no amount of stalking me will trick me into thinking he’s a good guy. Things are still just as fucked as before and we’re far from okay.
Far, far from okay.
“You gonna be all right this weekend?” Jules asks softly.
I only nod, not wanting her to know I’m in tears again.
“If I could come with you I would, but I know you need me here to keep an eye on Scar.”
“I’ll be fine. It’s just for