time I saw Jim again. We shared a glance and a smile, and that was it. We left and continued going our separate ways. I wouldn’t lie and say I felt nothing, or that I was okay with him walking away. Letting him go again without so much as a conversation was the hardest damn thing I’d done since getting on this new road to recovery.
As much as I wanted to regret what had happened between us—me, losing the best thing that’d ever happened to me—I wouldn’t. I couldn’t regret what I’d done, and I wouldn’t make any excuses for it. If it’d never happened, I would have never realized that I needed help. I would have never sought help and started working on myself. So as much as I could’ve wallowed in self-pity or cast blame, I wouldn’t.
He was the best thing that’d ever happened to me for many reasons, but mainly for leading me to find the road of self-love. I knew now that it was impossible to love someone without genuinely loving yourself first, and he’d given me that gift. For the first time in my life, I could honestly say that I loved myself, and that was worth more to me than anything.
The other gift he’d given me was Ash. I was sitting next to Collin in the backseat of Jake’s Range Rover, heading with Jake and Ash to the yacht to celebrate her birthday. We were close to the port where the boat was docked, waiting for us to board. Springtime on the ocean? I knew this was going to be exciting. Ash’s dad and stepmom were caring for the kids at Jake and Ash’s beach house so the grown-ups could enjoy this three-day event.
“Jacob Mitchell.” Ash reached over and gripped his arm as he turned into the parking area, and I saw their massive-ass boat, lit up like fucking Christmas. “Why the hell does the boat look like Jim has been hosting clients on it?”
Jake took her hand and kissed the back of it. “They’re your clients, angel,” he said. “Now, we mustn’t be rude to everyone who has come to celebrate April fourteenth—the very day the world was blessed when you entered it.”
“Good God,” Collin said, eyeing me with a smirk. “You two should just keep this damn yacht excursion to yourselves. Spare us the sappy BS, Jakey.”
“I’m sure you and Avery are so devastated that your single butts might run into a lovely single man or woman too,” he teased with a wink through the rearview mirror.”
“Damn it,” I said as Jake parked the car. “My secret is out now. I’m not here to celebrate Ash’s big day. I was only showing up for dudes and booze.”
“Same here,” Collin said. “Well, the booze part, anyway. These guys aren’t my type.” He laughed.
“Well, you two might be spending it that way.” Ash looked back at us, “If Jake invited my gallery clients, I might not even see him tonight.”
“Oh, you’ll see me, even if I have to steal away the birthday girl. All right, kids. Let’s get it started,” he said, and that’s when I was swept up into a tornado of bliss and craziness.
The yacht was luxurious beyond my wildest dreams. The party crew and catering were out of this world, and I ate more than my share. After moving through crowds of people and meeting Ash’s clients, I was ready to give myself a break and have a martini. It was empty at the bar area, everyone hanging out in their own crowds, enjoying the music, the dancing, and the enchanting atmosphere after the boat took off a couple of hours ago, cruising through the bay.
Even at the bar, situated under the overhead deck, the cool breeze blew through and kissed at my face. I loved the salty air, and this martini was adding to my relaxation.
“Excuse me, ma’am?” I popped the olive in my mouth after cracking some lame joke to the bartender, and I turned to the man at my left.
“Sir?” I said, seeing Jim’s brilliant green eyes, spellbound by his presence.
“Does your husband approve of you, sitting here at the bar all by yourself?”
I eyed him as he sipped his bourbon. His expression was light and happy. I thought I’d never see that look again.
“Why would my husband disapprove?” I asked, playing along like I would’ve when we were in England. I hadn’t seen him in so long that I didn’t know if we were still the same