to ensure he never comes around you or that precious little girl again.”
“I can’t take—”
“I get it,” he said, getting up. “One thing I despise is excuses. I am not programmed to accept them, I guess. Jesus Christ, I can’t even handle them from my team members, let alone when it comes to the two people I care for most and the one person who can do something about it, but she won’t.”
“This is my child and my life. I’m doing the best I can with it,” I shot back angrily, following him away from where Addy was asleep. My defense mechanisms were in full swing. How dare he or anyone say anything to me about caring for my child? “You don’t know how much she loves Larry and Annette.”
“Then her grandparents need to stop bringing that fuck-up around the granddaughter who loves them so much,” he said, hands in his pockets and staring past me. “It’s all fucked up, Avery, I know that. I know how hard this must be for you. Addicts like him mess everything up. I see where this dick is fucking over you and Addy, and I’m telling you, you are the only one who can end it.”
I crossed my arms. “I’m doing everything I can, Jim.” My voice cracked as I tried desperately to hold back my anger and my tears. “I think I’ve been doing it well, too, since way before you came around. Addy and I are happy. Derek does this shit, and then it just goes away.”
“Av,” his voice lowered with pity, “you have to see through this bullshit somehow. If not for you and the two breakdowns I’ve witnessed that scumbag force you into, then for your daughter. I need to know you’re going to take the help I promised you in Palm Springs to get that fucker out of your life.” He ran a hand through his hair when the door chime audibly alerted him on the outdoor intercom, and Jake’s voice came through, announcing that he and Ash were here with more pool toys.
The problem with what Jim expected of me was that I wasn’t brave enough to use the lawyers he would hire to help me gain custody of my daughter. Jim didn’t know the details of my dark history. My jail time, me being a user, and that being the reason why I ended up with Derek in the first place. How could I ever expect someone like Jim to understand?
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Jim
I might have overstepped my bounds in my conversation with Avery by the pool that morning, but I couldn’t help it. I loved her and Addy too, and so this Derek asshole ignited a rage within me that was hard to explain. He brought out feelings inside me that only one other person had—my mother. Living with an addict was detrimental to my brother and me in so many ways, and the last thing I wanted was for Addy to have even a sliver of the childhood I’d experienced.
The more I thought about Avery and Addy’s situation, the more unanswered questions were brought to my mind. Would my mother have cheated on my dad if she weren’t using drugs? Would she have given half a damn about her two little boys if she weren’t a selfish addict? Would it have all been so different if she weren’t so consumed with her self-destructive habits?
It didn’t matter now. I couldn’t change the past, but I could help shift Avery and Addy’s future.
Avery and I sat at a quiet corner booth in a diner, not having said much since our disagreement from earlier. She and Ash had dropped off Addy at that church to practice singing for her Christmas program earlier in the afternoon, so Avery and I hadn’t had a chance to finish our conversation. If I was honest, I wasn’t sure what else to say, and from Avery’s lack of engagement on the topic, I assumed she felt the same way.
“Jim,” Avery interrupted my thoughts, “are you still with me?”
“Sorry. There’s a lot of shit on my mind,” I answered truthfully.
“Well, we have about twenty minutes before I have to leave to pick up Addy from her singing practice.” She grabbed the check off the table and smiled at me. “This one is on me.”
“No, no. You don’t have to do that,” I insisted as Avery stood up.
“I know I don’t. Be right back,” she said with a wink as she walked up to the register.
I