got to see you again, I’d be different. I wouldn’t let a single moment go by without telling you how I felt.”
I tensed up. “How do you feel?” She looked up at me and I cupped her face, wiping away the tears. “No more tears.”
“You know how I feel, River.”
“I’ve got an idea, but I don’t know completely.”
She chuckled. “You just want me to say it, don’t you?”
I winked at her. “It would be nice to know what my girl thinks of me.”
She sighed. “You’re a pain in the ass.”
“I’m lovable.”
Her gaze ran over my body. “Where’s your knife?”
“I can cope without one being in my hands.” I slid my fingers into my back pocket and held it up for her. Opening the blade, I rested it on top of the piano. “I always keep one close at hand, though.”
“I get that.” She rested her head against my chest.
No words were spoken. I guessed I wasn’t going to hear them tonight. I didn’t mind. We were still on her shit list. I got it. We’d all fucked up. Still, I didn’t like how badly Caleb was taking it. I don’t think he felt guilty for using Ashley for his own personal means. I think what he was upset most about was getting caught. He couldn’t stand the idea of Emily hating him.
“I love you,” she said.
At first, I wasn’t sure I heard her correctly, but there was no mistaking the words that fell from her lips.
“I love you too,” I said.
She lifted her head. “You didn’t have to tell me if you didn’t feel it.”
“I do. Letting you go was the hardest thing I ever had to do.”
Her laughter filled the air as she rolled her eyes. “You’re kidding, right?”
“I’m being serious. No joking around.”
“You were kidnapped. The stories of what happened to you during high school were the stuff of legends.”
I shrugged. “Either way, I knew I was either going to die or make it out alive. With you gone and no easy way of getting you back, that was the nightmare.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
“The love of my life was out there somewhere and I couldn’t get to you. None of us could. I knew without a doubt I wouldn’t be able to stand by and watch you fall for someone else. Just the thought of it makes me want to kill.”
“I’m not with anyone else. I never found anyone. Ashley said I should go on dates, but I couldn’t. It felt like I was cheating.” She pushed some hair off her face and I watched her stifle a yawn. “Do you think she’s okay?”
I didn’t know if I should lie to her or not. Earl had a bad reputation, but when it came to women, it was always a murky image. No one knew for certain the kind of man he was.
“I believe he’s taking really good care of your friend.”
“Do you believe that?”
“Yes. Her virginity is precious to him. To a certain extent, he needs her innocence, so he’s going to do everything he can to treasure it.” I was talking out of my ass. I knew I was, but I had hope. Hope or plain stupidity, I wasn’t sure yet.
She put her hand on mine. “Thank you. It means a lot. I’m going to go to bed.” She leaned over and kissed me before pulling away.
Sitting at the piano, I watched her go, wishing I was with her. She needed her space. I needed my own kind of sleep as well.
I hadn’t really slept in years. Running a hand across the piano keys, I wondered if we’d ever find happiness. If Ashley died, we were all fucked. I knew that. It was why Caleb was losing control.
Earl had fucked us over. We all knew it, and right now, we were trying to save face and to win over the love of our lives.
He wanted to be the head of our group, but now, I couldn’t help but wonder if he wished he was somewhere else.
Chapter Nine
Emily
Another new day.
The house today was eerily quiet. I didn’t see any soldiers. I didn’t know if they’d been given orders to disappear when they saw me coming. Did that scare them? I didn’t know why I cared.
Running fingers through my hair, I stepped into the library, going straight to the computer.
My cell phone held all my numbers. I couldn’t remember Ashley’s by heart. Another of my many failings as a friend. She would have been able to tell