sure whether or not it was due to the idea of an empty fireplace or the actual absence of heat.
The Kentmore family gathered around it first, with their guests to the outside. All took turns sprinkling the log with oil, salt, and wine, each person invited to say a prayer as he or she did so.
Caroline turned and held out a hand to Joanna, who tried to shake her head, but Caroline insisted more firmly, placing the cup of wine in her hand.
“Say your prayer,” she commanded, and Joanna nodded dutifully, pouring the wine on the log as she closed her eyes for a moment.
She said a quick prayer for peace and prosperity for all who were here with her this evening. That should be more than a big-enough ask, she reasoned.
But she couldn’t help the small part of herself that had one more thing to ask for, something she didn’t entirely deserve yet she couldn’t help but wish for anyway.
Please Lord, she prayed, bring me love this Christmas.
It meant nothing that she met Elijah’s eyes when she opened her own.
For he was the last man she would ever — should ever — fall in love with.
So why did his wink cause her heart to flip?
She was going to have to get a handle on herself, she reasoned. Or she would be in for humiliation once more.
Humiliation she had vowed to avoid for the rest of her life.
Chapter 7
Elijah had spent most of his life lacking any real purpose.
He had gone to school, yes. He had joined the army, yes.
But at that point in time, he hadn’t particularly cared about what he was doing. He went through the motions because it was expected of him, but he’d never actually worked incredibly hard in excelling or in proving himself to even be worthy.
Because what did it matter?
He would always be the second son of a marquess, who wasn’t good for anything, really — not even in standing in line for the title anymore, not now that Baxter had sons.
He would have made a terrible marquess, anyway. For he lacked commitment. He lacked responsibility. He lacked purpose.
Until now.
Now he was determined that there was one thing — or one person — who was going to change all of that.
For he wanted Joanna Merryton.
All he had to do was convince her that he was not the man she thought he was.
And he wasn’t. Not really. The Elijah Kentmore that had left for the war years ago had been killed along with dozens of others on the fields of Salamanca.
The man who stood in his place now was but a shadow of who he had been before.
A shadow lacking memories, recognition, time.
One thing he could not forget, however, was the image in his head of Joanna half-dressed. Nor the sight of his fingers, so rough and undainty, upon the soft, pale skin of her back. Nor the reflection of the two of them, staring back from the mirror.
This Christmas he would win Joanna over. He had no idea how just yet. He could only wish that it was her memories of the past that were erased, for then it might be much easier for her to give him a chance.
But that was a lie — for he would never wish this upon anyone, least of all her.
He watched her enter the drawing room, slightly hesitant, unsure, and he longed to go to her and offer his arm, to help her acclimate to all of these people who were part of his friends and family, but who seemed so distant since his return.
But to do so would quite contravene his promise to her to stay far away, and so instead he followed her with his eyes — until he saw that Alex took the very place he had wished for himself.
Suddenly, his brother, the man who had always been his partner in everything they did, who he had always so wanted to be like to the point of joining the army, became his opponent.
His attention was caught by his elder brother across the room, where Baxter and Ophelia were holding court as though they were king and queen of their castle, which he supposed they were, in a sense. And yet, still, it grated on him, especially when his parents were still here, and should be filling that role themselves.
Elijah had an idea.
An idea that would solve both of his immediate annoyances.
He made his way across the room, sidling up next to his brother.
“Alex, Miss