do you need more feelings?”
“Please.” She waved her hand. “Saying that you’ve never felt something before is only the tip of the iceberg. I still have no idea how you’re feeling. Although I’m willing to venture a few guesses.”
Mom listened while I told her about my trip, chiming in with questions about how things had made me feel every time I tried to gloss over it. When it happened again right when I got to the part about me leaving, I narrowed my eyes in a mock glare. “Are you going to charge me for this session?”
“Of course. Dinner is on you tonight.” She gave me a delighted grin. “There’s a magnificent new burger joint that delivers. I’ll have the Chicken Supreme.”
“Dinner was going to be on me anyway.”
She shrugged. “In that case, you’re paying for this session by giving me the peace of mind that my son has the balls to face what he’s feeling.”
“Mothers should not be allowed to say the word balls,” I grumbled.
Arching her eyebrows as an amused smile swept across her face, she tucked her chin closer to her chest. “Why not? You’re forgetting the fact that mothers knew what balls were before you kids were even conceived, and also that we were the ones to wipe them for you when you were still in diapers. All things considered, I’m quite confident I know more about balls than you do.”
I choked on my own laughter. “Have I told you lately how much I love you?”
“Yep. You texted me yesterday. Did you tell this girl how much you love her? I think that’s the more pertinent question here.”
“What? I don’t love her. I’ve known her for a week.”
She gave me a headshake and looked at me like I was stupid. “You say that like it means something. Do you want to know what I think?”
“Sure.” I was curious to get her take on it. “Bring it on.”
“Something is different when you talk about her. I suspect you already know that, considering that you’ve already admitted that you’ve never felt like this before.”
I nodded. “She’s something special all right. It’s really too bad she deserves someone better than me. Hell, I might not even have a job right now.”
“You’re such a man.” She pinned me with knowing eyes. “You should’ve given her the goodbye she deserved, even if it hurt. You also should have told her that she was someone special to you. In which case, you might not even have had to say goodbye.”
“I was trying to do right by her.”
“Maybe that’s what you’ve been telling yourself, but it’s a lie. Since when do you lie to your mother, and since when do you have such self-esteem issues that you think she deserves better than you? You, my darling, are the absolute best. If this woman is as smart as you think she is, she already knows that.”
“Her fiancé left her at the altar less than two weeks ago. Let that sink in, Mom. The guy she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with left her—on their wedding day—less than two weeks ago. She deserves better than being hounded by some guy she met when she was supposed to be on her honeymoon that now can’t leave her alone.”
“Does she?” She cocked her head in a way that made me think Kavan had rubbed off on her just as much as she had on him. “Let’s put that a little differently, shall we? Does she deserve a guy who knows her worth and is so crazy about her after only a few days with her that he’s willing to stand by her side no matter what? How about a man who recognizes and respects that she’s been through a tough time and doesn’t abandon her just because of it?”
“Fuck.” I hadn’t thought about it like that. “I could’ve been that guy.”
“Yes, you could have.” Mom drained her glass and set it down with a thud on the counter. “What are you going to do about it?”
“It’s too late now, Mom. It’s already over. I’ve already left.”
The long look she gave me told me she disagreed. “One day, you’ll learn, darling, that while you still have breath in your lungs and fight in your heart, it’s never too late. Now, refill my drink and let’s deal with this one step at a time.”
Chapter 29
LINDSAY
I’d always liked our office building. It was near the airport, so there were constantly planes coming over, but