up regretting it.
Chapter 23
LINDSAY
Everything about tonight felt different. We were both completely relaxed, and yet it still felt like an extended goodbye, and the tension of it was thick in the air.
I couldn’t count the amount of times I’d nearly gone back on the “living in the moment” rule and asked about our future. In the end, I hadn’t because it was obvious he’d spent a fair amount of time on our last day bringing the evening together, and I wanted to enjoy it for what it was.
A very big part inside me was screaming to just bring it up and get it over with, but that was the part of me that always needed to know what was going to happen next. With Jaxon looking at me with molten heat in his eyes as he slowly unzipped the dress he’d gotten me in the steam-filled bathroom, I knew enough of what was going to happen next that I silenced that part of me.
After a kiss that I’d felt all the way to my soul back in the bedroom, he’d taken my hand wordlessly and led me in here. He moved around the room, lighting the candles before dimming the lights as low as they could go. I hadn’t been able to tear my gaze off him.
Now the bath was drawn, the petals were scattered on top of the bubbles in the claw-footed bath, and it was time to get in. His fingers brushed against the bare skin of my spine from where he had pulled the zipper down torturously slow, then pushed the broad straps of the dress from my arms with equally deliberate movements.
A pleasured sigh escaped me when the material pooled around my feet on the floor and he dragged his fingers up my sides to unhook my bra behind my back.
When I was left in nothing but my heels, I turned to face him and gave him the same attentive treatment. He looked so damn handsome in his charcoal suit pants and black button-down shirt with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows.
Why is it always so damn hot when men do that? It was like lady-part Kryptonite. I wondered if they all attended a class at some point in their lives where they were taught that.
My thoughts fled when I got to the last button of his shirt and pushed it off his defined shoulders. I’d had a week of seeing him shirtless, but I’d never felt as free to ogle the ink that decorated his skin as I did now.
All of the work was intricately done, the details precise and beautiful. Over his heart was a black and gray compass with clean lines, and I was pretty sure I knew what that one meant. I glanced up at him to confirm as I tapped a nail softly on it.
“Always follow your heart?”
He nodded, his gaze heavy as he watched me take him in like I hadn’t had the guts to do before. On his ribs, there was plain lettering reading “I am the Captain of my Fate and the Master of my Soul,” while the word on his inner bicep was simple, “ALIVE.”
A gorgeous Celtic cross decorated one of his shoulder blades, while his back and the other shoulder were like a patchwork canvas of stars, flames, and a nautical star symmetrically placed across from the cross.
“Do they all have meanings?” I asked, my breath catching as I thought about all the hours he must’ve spent under the needle to get it all done, and wondering how many more he’d spent deciding on what to get done.
Again, he nodded, but this time, he brought his hands up to mine, pulling them away from his body but holding them tight. “Let’s get in before all the bubbles are gone and the water goes cold.”
“I can spend hours just looking at all of those,” I admitted just before removing my heels and and lifted one leg into the tub while he held my hands to provide balance.
He smirked, turning me around before I sat down. I heard him lowering his zipper and the slight rustle of clothes as he dropped his pants, then felt him climbing in behind me with his chest to my back.
“You’ve got two choices at this point. We have hours left, but would you rather spend them looking at me or touching me? I can’t promise I won’t touch you if you choose looking at me, though.”
My throat nearly closed up at