kiss like that for a while, our tongues sort of getting to know each other. He’s got the best lips ever. I wonder whether mine are okay too. Do I have bad breath? Am I doing this right? I must be, because now he’s tipping me backward onto the sofa—not pushing me, the way Reggie would have, but just guiding me with his hands.
“Alex, is this all right?”
I nod. Slowly, his hands move up my shirt to my back. And then I turn into the crazy one. I can’t help myself. It’s like all of my pent-up teenage hormones are suddenly released to run rampant with this beautiful guy I totally like. I start kissing him all over—his neck, his chest. He kisses back, hard, and I loop my feet around his ankles.
I feel totally safe. See, Thaddeus isn’t like Reggie. He’s not pulling at my pants or anything. In fact, we have all our clothes on—even our shoes. Still, I’ve never been this excited. I hold on tight and press myself into him through my jeans. He breathes a little harder, and—oh my God, what am I doing?—I feel this awesome weird burst, and a wheel of color takes over my brain.
“Sorry!” I say, rolling over in horror. “Oh my God. I’m really sorry.”
I lie on my stomach and bury my face in the musty sofa cushion. I can’t believe I just did that. I’m so embarrassed. Will Thaddeus think I’m a freak?
“Are you okay?”
“Sure,” I say. “I’m just… sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.”
Thaddeus starts laughing.
“What?” I ask, my face still covered.
“Alex, don’t panic. I was into it.”
“You were?”
“Of course,” he says, still smiling. “So the next time you call a book ‘orgasmic,’ I guess I can be sure you know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, crap.”
“You should see your face,” he says. “It’s totally glowing.”
I put my hand on my cheek. “I feel really stupid.”
“It’s not stupid. It’s cute.”
“Well, yeah. It was… um… my first one.”
“Cool,” Thaddeus says, stroking my hair.
I’m seriously nervous to ask the next question. I know he’ll probably dump me or think I’m a prude. But, thinking of Reggie, I ask anyway.
“Hey… do you mind if we take this slow?” I look at him fearfully. “I know I went kind of nuts just then, but I’m new at all of this, and…”
“Of course.” He kisses my cheek. “That’s what I want too. Especially after last year.”
I sigh with relief. “You don’t think I’m a prude?”
“What?”
“There was this guy in California… he thought I was a tease. And he called me fat.”
“You’re not a tease. And you can Skype that guy and show him how awesome you look now. He’ll be sorry.”
The back of my neck prickles with fear. I’m only pretty to him because of the hoodoo tricks; this isn’t my real self at all. If he knew, would he dump me? And will I turn into a fat pumpkin at midnight?
Then Thaddeus kisses me again, and for now I try to push those thoughts to the back of my mind. Still, they’re there, along with my nagging jealousy of Madison. I know I’m the one with Thaddeus now and, really, that’s all that is important. But no matter how hard I try to put it out of my mind, I still find myself picturing Thaddeus—my boyfriend—camped under Madison’s window in the rain.
27
Constance Taylor wakes up in her soaking-wet bed. She is panting, her heart is pounding, her room is too hot, and her throat is too dry. Traveling all over the world, sleeping in hundreds of different rooms in dozens of different countries, has trained her to wake up when something is wrong. Right now something is very wrong. Right now someone is in her room.
She looks at the closet: The door is closed. She looks at the window, but she sees nothing there. She turns her head to the doorway, and there he is. The outline of a man standing in the hall, watching her. She freezes, but it’s too late. He’s been watching her a long time; he watched her thrashing in her sleep, he watched her wake up, and he knows she sees him.
Excited, he makes a little wet sound with his mouth and starts walking toward her. He has a doctor’s bag in one hand, and he opens it and takes out something ruined and nasty. He holds it out. It’s a dead cat.
Constance overcomes her paralysis and grabs for the bedside table, yanking open the drawer, going