of Thaddeus obsessing over Madison.
“And then…” He stops.
“What?”
“Well, I sort of lost control of myself.”
“What do you mean?”
“One night she wouldn’t call me back. Playing hard to get, I guess. I wanted her so badly—I guess I was scary, or annoying. Something.”
I nod, thinking that I never played hard to get. Should I have been trickier?
“Anyway, I went to her house and was pretty much stalking her. I knew it wasn’t right, but I couldn’t help myself. She locked herself in that glass house and wouldn’t come out. But I could still see her. It was hurricane season, and a tropical storm was coming. There were all these warnings, but I couldn’t pull myself away.”
I don’t say anything. I just don’t know how to respond.
“I ended up getting pneumonia… even went to the hospital.”
I shake my head.
“And then it was the weirdest thing. It must have been the experience or the antibiotics or something. I had this really trippy dream about her, and then I just… wasn’t into her anymore.”
“Crush Killer,” I say. “Probably your sister.”
“Yeah, maybe. Or my mom or my grandmother. Who knows? That’s why I hate the magic. No one’s straight about anything. I got seriously jerked around. It was the worst feeling of my life.”
“Is that why you got so pissed about what happened at the party? With the fire?”
He nods. “Not that I even know how you did that.”
“You know what?” I grin. “I don’t either.”
“Look, Alex. I know it seems pretty cool, but if I were you, I’d steer clear of using the black magic.”
“Well,” I can’t help saying, “it seemed to work for Madison.”
He shakes his head. “But it didn’t. With those bullshit spells, you never know if someone really likes you for you. That wasn’t a real relationship. You know, we might have actually made it, Madison and I, if she had just let it happen naturally.”
I shrug, scared that if I say anything, I’ll reveal that this conversation is making me miserable. But he must sense that he’s gone too far, because he puts his arm around me. It feels strong around my waist. “The way you and I are letting it happen on our own. I mean, I know I like you. No potions needed.”
I nod, trying not to look as ecstatic as I feel. My elbow rests on his stomach. I concentrate on the rise and fall of his chest. His breath tickles my neck. He smells clean, like good soap.
“I love my sister,” Thaddeus continues, “but I don’t like the influence the whole Magnolia League thing has on her. You’re different. You had a whole life before this, and you’re your own person. But sometimes I worry about you too.”
“You do?”
“Sure. I can tell that you’ve started dressing differently since you’ve been hanging out with Hayes and Madison. You straightened your hair…. I get it. You want to fit in. Just be careful, Alex. I would hate to see you getting totally wrapped up in it.”
“I won’t,” I say. “I have other friends. Well, one other friend, anyway.”
“And promise me something.”
“What?”
He links his fingers with mine. “Never use a spell on me.”
“Of course.” How could he possibly think that I would?
“If you do, that’ll be the end. I seriously can’t let myself get into a mess like that again.”
“Absolutely,” I say, squeezing his arm.
“No, seriously. You might be tempted. Just… don’t.”
“I won’t, Thaddeus,” I say. “I promise.”
He looks at me, and then away. I’m struck for the thousandth time by how beautiful he is. How can I be so lucky?
“You should know something,” he says.
“What?” I ask blissfully.
“I lost my virginity to her,” he says. “Madison. So I’ll always… care about her.”
“Oh.” I look at the ocean. Wow. The hair on my arm is standing on end. They had sex. This is heavy news.
“But, Alex, it just didn’t feel natural. It was probably just the spell.”
Probably?
I swallow. “Does… this feel natural?” I curl my toes, waiting for his answer.
“I think so.” He elbows me. “What do you think?”
“Well, it’s more normal than any relationship I’ve ever had. But then again, I grew up on a communal pot farm.”
Thaddeus laughs, then suddenly turns serious. After a moment, he leans in and kisses me. Maybe it’s the rain, or the old house, or the way the place smells like a good, solid library, but this kiss blows all of the other ones out of the water. The storm outside gets louder. I can hear thunder out over the water. We