you think you found your happily-ever-after?”
“I hope so, because it’s a little late to back out now.” John squeezed Bonnie’s knee.
She smiled at her husband.
“What would you say the secret to love like yours is?” Josie shifted her legs, and I couldn’t help but remember what those legs had felt like wrapped around me.
All day I’d been having flashbacks of the night before. Even when I’d been surrounded by elderly women grilling me, I’d been picturing a naked Josie beneath me and the face she’d made when I slid inside of her. I just couldn’t seem to help myself.
Bonnie tilted her head thoughtfully. “I’m definitely not an expert on the subject, but I can tell you what’s worked for me. I mean, a lot of them are clichés, but I guess clichés are clichés for a reason. Marry your best friend. Love and accept your partner for who they are, don’t try to change them.
Don’t expect one person to fulfill every need you have. That’s way too much pressure to put on any relationship. Just like the idea that women are expected to work full-time, cook, clean the house, and take care of the kids is insane, so is expecting a man to be an alpha, protector, provider who is also sensitive, funny, and wants to hear every detail of your day. It’s unrealistic. That’s why it’s so important to have friends and family that meet those needs.
Take responsibility for your own happiness. Always remember that love isn’t just a feeling, it’s a commitment. Somedays you feel it, of course—”
“I feel it every day.” John squeezed her knee again.
“Dad,” Jessa warned from off-screen.
I hadn’t picked up on his double meaning, but after I saw the look on Jessa’s face, I knew that there had to be one.
“What, I didn’t do anything?” He shot back incredulously.
“Sorry,” Jessa cringed. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud. Can you edit that?”
“Of course,” Josie assured her.
Bonnie continued, unfazed by the interaction. “But on the days that you don’t necessarily feel the love, instead of focusing on the negative, try to remember why you fell in love with the person you’re with. I think that’s part of what makes our relationship work is that neither of us take the other one for granted. We both know what we have, and we protect it and honor it. When you have all those things, then you’ve got a good shot at growing old together.”
Growing old together.
As the interview continued, I couldn’t get that phrase out of my head. For all of my adult life, l had lived in fragments. Each segment was the duration of whatever job I was on. I never looked farther ahead than my next job, because there was no point.
But the more time I spent with Josie, the more my thinking was changing.
Could I have a future with her?
What would that even look like?
And would it be something that she was interested in?
I had no idea what she was thinking or feeling about anything. Sure, we’d spent the night together, but she’d made no indication that she wanted anything more than that. Even if she did, what did that mean? Would she be interested in continuing anything once we wrapped?
With all of my past relationships, and I was using that term loosely, I’d been so clear on where they fit in my life. I’d been able to communicate what any woman could expect from me, which wasn’t much. If I was seeing a woman, the most I promised was exclusivity. I wouldn’t see other women, but in no way did I make a relationship a priority in my life. My career came first. My family, although my mom might not agree, came first.
But this was different. I wanted more with Josie. The question was, how much more?
My mind was so preoccupied with questions I had no answers to that before I knew it, the interview was over and we were heading to my cousin’s house for a barbeque.
We arrived at a cute cottage style bungalow, which was blue with white trim and had a large porch. In the center of the front yard sat a mature oak tree complete with a tire swing. We stepped over two bikes that were lying on their sides as we made our way up the brick path to the front door.
I lifted my hand to knock, when Josie gasped beside me.
“What’s wrong?”
“I didn’t bring anything. I meant to stop at the grocery store, but I totally