in Wilder’s eyes, and he hated himself a little bit for it. “Did I do something?”
Dmitri groaned, passing a hand down his face as he leaned against the table and first checked to make sure Wilder’s hearing aids were on before he leaned in closer and pitched his voice so his boss could understand him better. “Ronan’s hiring. Raphael mentioned that he wanted to retire in the next two years, so I thought I’d…” He stopped and tried not to look down at all the qualifications he didn’t meet. “It’s stupid. I mean, he won’t hire me. He wants someone to take over, and they need a degree, and there’s not enough time for me to do that.”
Wilder cocked his head to the side. “Is that something you want to do?”
“Are you angry?”
Wilder’s brow furrowed. “Repeat that.”
‘Angry,’ Dmitri signed, finding it easier on his fingers. ‘Are you angry at me?’
At that, his boss laughed. “What? Why in the world would I be angry? Dmitri, I didn’t expect you to stay here forever. I just didn’t know you’d be interested in something like that.”
And the truth was, being a park ranger wasn’t interesting. Or, at least, he didn’t know if it was. He didn’t know what the hell Ronan did on the day to day, and he’d only been by his side once, years back, to work off his community service for his reckless driving. He and Ronan had talked a lot, he’d cleaned out the cabins, and he’d organized files. They went on a trash hunt, and then they had to haul a deer carcass off the hiking path.
It was mundane and pointless, and he’d felt oddly relaxed out there in the middle of nowhere. And after that day, that Ronan always said hi to him whenever Dmitri passed him in town or at the supermarket. They weren’t friends the way Ronan was with everyone else, but he thought maybe Ronan found him worth a little something. Maybe something enough that he’d give him a chance if he found the courage to apply.
“Have you talked to him?”
Dmitri blinked up at Wilder, then let out the laugh he was holding back. “No. God. I printed this out on the website, and I’ve been trying to talk myself into going down there and dropping it off.”
Wilder’s face dropped into a smile, and he laid his hand on Dmitri’s arm. “Go. Take the afternoon off and go.”
Dmitri bit his lower lip and raised his hands again. ‘What if he…’
“Whatever you’re afraid of,” Wilder said, cutting him off, “it’s not going to happen. At worst, he’ll tell you no.”
And Dmitri wanted to think that being told no would gut him, but he’d heard a lot worse than that in his life. And Wilder was right—Ronan wasn’t the kind of man who’d humiliate him. Hell, he’d probably offer to help Dmitri find something else if he couldn’t offer him the job, and that set fire to a ball of panic resting in his gut because he didn’t want that kind of attention.
“Do you want to wait until the shop closes? I can go out there with you for support.”
Dmitri closed his eyes and shook his head, because Wilder was supposed to be insulted and put out that his longest employee was looking for work simply because he needed a change. He lifted his hands. ‘I got it.’
‘Then go. Here,’ Wilder signed, then went into the kitchen and came out with a small pink box taped on the sides, pressing into Dmitri’s hands. ‘These are for Jonas, and this’ll give you an opener.’
Dmitri’s fingers pressed so hard against the box, it began to bow at the bottom, and he forced himself to relax. “I don’t know if I can do it. He’s going to ask me why I want the job, and I don’t have an answer for him.”
Wilder’s brows furrowed again. “Can you repeat that last part? He’s going to ask you what?”
Dmitri wanted to tell him never mind, but he knew how much that hurt Wilder when people denied him words he wouldn’t have missed if he could hear. “Why I want the job,” he said, measuring his speed just a touch. “And I can’t answer that because I don’t know.”
“You just want something different,” Wilder said. “He’ll get that, believe me.”
And maybe he would, but Ronan was a creature of habit. He was already an angry hermit when Dmitri had come to Cherry Creek as a baby, and nothing much had changed except