Sippy cup.” Then she set the cup on the tray until her little one knocked it off with the spoon in her fist. I tried not to snicker, quickly recalling my days spent training children in the etiquette of eating. Then I realized I would be doing this same thing again soon enough.
Holy fuck. I’d already decided to keep the baby.
When my father returned to the dining room, Justin was right behind him. I simply stared as if he were a figment of my imagination. Devon, though, ran over to hug him. “Justin! Mom said you couldn’t come today!”
That man picked Devon up to hug him properly. “Your mom just misunderstood, buddy.”
My father said, “Everyone, this is Justin. Randi’s Justin.” He went around the table, introducing everyone by name, as I found the strength to walk over to him. The whole time, though, I wondered what his arrival meant.
Even Sarah walked past me, hugging Justin before I could reach him. When I did, I scanned his eyes, trying to read his message. But he put Devon down and embraced me. Once more, the tears tried to start up again as I allowed myself to believe Justin’s appearance was a good omen.
My mother’s voice cut through the air. “Randall, for heaven’s sake, would you fetch a chair while I get another place setting?”
Suddenly, I felt a sense of relief that I hadn’t said anything about Justin leaving—although, deep down, I knew that was still a possibility. Why was he here? I had no idea. As if he could sense my doubt, he whispered in my ear, “I promised you I’d be here, didn’t I?”
We began the meal and the two of us didn’t talk. While there was a heaviness between us, an indication of so many goddamned things unsaid, we both knew this was not the time or the place for any sort of discussion. But it was no surprise that he could charm the hell out of my family. As he took their questions, Justin quickly won over my mom and Megan—but I was almost shocked at how well he was getting along with my father and brother-in-law, too, fielding not only their questions about vehicles, but school, me, my kids. Even his humor was spot on, and I could feel us all relaxing around the table, more because of the company than the tryptophan from the turkey.
As plates got emptier, even after second helpings, my mother announced, “I think it’s time for some pie.” My father mockingly shoved his stomach out and patted it as if he couldn’t eat another bite. “But first we need to clean up a little. If I could persuade everyone to scrape their plates in the kitchen, the girls and I can bring in dessert after.”
Everyone made their way to the kitchen, obeying my mother’s command, placing their scraped dishes on the counter next to the sink before heading back to the dining room. I, however, stayed with my mother and sister until we began making several trips back and forth with pies, whipped cream, serving utensils, and dessert plates.
After serving pie to all the kids, my mother looked over at Justin and repeated the entire menu to him before asking, “What kind would you like?”
“I’m not sure yet. I think I’d like a breath of fresh air before eating more.”
“Of course.”
I asked, “Is it okay if we go out back?” Once I had their permission, I led him through the house. Although I was tempted to take his hand, I refrained, still not knowing where I stood with him. I had a feeling that now we would talk, so I led him to the rack by the front door first where we could take our coats, and then we went through the living room to the sliding glass door onto the deck. Fortunately, it was covered by awning. Although the lawn just beyond it was buried in snow, the deck was dry.
Justin stuck his hands in his jeans, letting out a breath that I could see. Even though it was chilly out here, the crisp air felt welcome after being in the stifling house.
I started wondering if he expected me to speak first, but I didn’t know what to say. So I stared out at the yard and wound my arm through Justin’s, hoping he wouldn’t push me away.
Finally, he said, “Rascal, what the hell am I gonna do with you?”
Once again, my eyes filled with hot tears. “I don’t know.”
Gently, he turned