to get my hopes up. Wow. First day on the job and my photographer was helping me produce! He was actually interested in my story and wanted to contribute.
You got to understand. Most of our photographers at News 9 were die-hard union guys. They did exactly what you told them, with no thoughts or creative suggestions. It was not a team effort. Ever. They might as well have been robots, though I was pretty sure robots didn’t bitch and whine every time they were asked to do something. And heaven forbid you break a union rule. One time, I hit the “eject” button on the camera to get my tape. I thought the photographer was going to have a heart attack. I had to sit through this half-hour lecture about how my hitting “eject” could lead to photographer layoffs because there wasn’t enough work for them to do. Evidently I’d personally be responsible for hundreds of starving children whose photog daddies and mommies stood in the unemployment line.
Jamie turned around in his chair and logged into my cubemate’s computer. I watched eagerly as he pulled up his Internet e-mail account and selected his trash folder. “Here it is.” He clicked on the little envelope icon and the e-mail popped up. Because I was blind and refused to wear glasses or get contacts, I had to come up pretty close behind him to read over his shoulder. And this close proximity made me realize he was wearing spicy cologne that sparked a direct tingling effect you know where. Man, this guy could turn me on without even touching me.
To: Jamie Hayes
From: Jennifer Quigley
Subject: FWD: LIPSTICK —Please Read
Lead is a chemical that causes cancer. The higher the lead content, the greater the chance of it causing cancer. Watch out for those lipsticks, which are supposed to stay longer. If your lipstick stays longer, it is because of the higher content of lead. This is how to test lipstick for lead.
1) Put some lipstick on your hand.
2) Use a 24k -14k gold ring to scratch on the lipstick.
3) If the lipstick color changes to black then you know the lipstick contains lead.
NOTE: Please pass this along to all your friends. In addition to saving their lives, you will also receive good luck in three days. If you do not pass this along and simply delete it, something really bad will probably happen to you. There was this one guy in Cuba who deleted it and he died in a fiery car crash five minutes later. Doctors said it was because he was checking his e-mail and driving at the same time, but we know better! You have been warned!
“So, what do you think?” Jamie asked, turning around to look at me. Since I had been leaning over so close, the sudden movement caused us to bump noses and an electric shock zapped through my entire body. It was like accidental Eskimo kissing!
“Sorry,” I said, even though I wasn’t. I sat back down in my chair. “Can you forward me that e-mail? I’m pretty sure it’s an urban myth, but it’s definitely worth checking out.”
“Sure, no prob.” After getting my e-mail address, Jamie forwarded the message. Then he turned back to face me.
“That’s a cute skirt,” he remarked casually, his eyes roaming my brand-new black swishy skirt I’d run out and bought last night before going to Tijuana. After learning I’d be working side by side with a sex god, I’d decided money needed to be spent on clothes. And evidently, I thought with delight, the investment was paying off.
“This old thing?” I brushed off. “Thanks. I suppose it’s cute.”
“Um, I think you forgot to take off the price tag though,” he added, gesturing to the hem. Oh shit. My face flamed as I looked down to see that he was right. There was definitely a price tag hanging from a plastic loop on the right side of the skirt. I thought I’d removed them all. He must have thought I was the biggest geek loser in the known universe. Who would put a tag there anyway? One so easy to miss. Was there some disgruntled Nordstrom’s employee out there who thought it’d be amusing to embarrass poor innocent people who bought clothes from her?
Now, there was a story. “Clothes That Kill.” You could die from humiliation, right?
“Actually, it’s a new thing,” I said, recovering just in time. “Keeping the price tags on is very hip these days.” Please believe me, I