to normality in a few weeks, if the break lasted that long. It might not. Jonty was up there. With Devan. But Tay was gay and back on his feet. Maybe Jonty was still an option.
That was a good thing. A great thing. Because it meant Ink could slip off on another adventure. His heart twisted in his chest. As he finished the last bite of pasty, he saw Tay watching him.
“Thank you. That was good.”
“I’m going to call my sister and ask her to get some food in. Save us bothering.” Tay took out his phone and turned it over and over in his hand.
“What?” Ink asked.
“How do you feel about hair dye?”
“I don’t think orange would suit you.”
Tay laughed. “Green?”
Ink thought about it. It wasn’t a bad idea to dye his hair. “Purple?”
Tay took out his phone. “Hi, Ali. Yes… I know… I wonder if… Could… Let me bloody talk!” He raised his eyebrows at Ink. “Yes, I ‘m fine. I’ve had enough of London and I’m on my way home. Could you please take some food to the house? Bread, salad stuff, fruit, chicken. Poo bags… No, you cheeky… And kibble for a small dog… Yes… Yes… They know, okay?… Anything. Use your imagination.” He sighed. “No, not liver. Nor kippers.” He stiffened. “Not until I tell you that you can come. Please. I need some space… Yes, I swear they know. Mum asked me to call you… Today. Sixish, I’m guessing… One other thing. I need hair dye. Purple… Yes, I’m serious… I don’t care what you think… I need it… Thanks. I’ll pay you when I see you, okay? Bye.”
“What are your sisters like?”
“Alison is six years older than me, and Dee is eight years older. Once my cuteness had worn off, I was a pain in their necks.”
“Your cuteness hasn’t worn off.” Ink smiled.
“Tell me if it starts to, so I can do something about it.”
“Such as?”
“Buy a mankini?”
Ink laughed. “No.”
“Dye my hair purple?”
“Mmm.”
“There’s a beach I want to take you to while the weather’s still warm, but I need to be steadier on my feet first. Ross Back Sands. It’s a nudist beach.”
“You’ve been on a beach naked?”
“Not that one. Bloody Jonty convinced me that Low-Newton-by-the-sea was a nudist beach, and he let me strip and get halfway to the water before he yelled that he’d got it wrong and it was Ross Back Sands.”
Ink chuckled.
“I want you to meet him,” Tay said. “I want us to be friends with him, and with Devan.”
“Uh huh.” Ink let his eyes close. He didn’t want to have this conversation. He couldn’t bring himself to tell Tay there was no way this would last, that something would happen that meant he had to leave.
“Don’t.” The hurt in Tay’s voice was unmistakable. “Open your eyes and look at me.”
Ink opened his eyes.
“You’re planning to leave before you’ve even fucking arrived,” Tay said quietly.
Maybe Ink had to be cruel. “You have no idea what you’d be letting yourself in for. A child killer for a boyfriend? You think anyone will want to be your friend if you’re with me? Will want to serve you in a shop, in a restaurant, or give you work? How will you feel when people throw shit at your house? Break your windows? When they scratch obscenities on your car? Paint them on your home? Spit at you in the street? When they do all they can to wreck your life? How do you think I’d feel watching bad things happening to you, knowing it was all my fault? And it’s not just your life that would be affected. The lives of your parents and sisters too.”
“What happened to the glass half full guy?”
“I don’t think he really exists,” Ink whispered. “It’s the guy I want to be, but I have this dark shadow hanging over me and I’m just waiting for it to fall, and when it does, I’ll be suffocated.”
Tay took hold of his hand. “I won’t let it fall. If life doesn’t work out here, then we’ll move somewhere else.”
And again, and again? Tay wasn’t thinking straight. I’m his first boyfriend. He’s infatuated. Tay would get over him. He’d have other boyfriends. Ink’s throat thickened. As soon as he felt stronger, he’d move on.
“Why are you so determined not to give us a chance?” Tay asked.
Because they didn’t have one.
Tay let go of his fingers. “If you don’t want to try, I can’t make you. I’ll take you home with