that consuming desire for her fill him. “I just don’t want another five years to pass between us, Tanner.” Cupping her face he held her still while he leaned down and kissed her. She smelled minty, and when he slid his tongue along the seam of her lips and she opened for him, that spearmint flavor coated his taste buds. He pulled away before the kiss got too carried away. “I’m not expecting an answer right now. Talk to your parents, think about it really hard. If you decide you want to take this job that means being on the road with us for the next three months, dealing with the press, rabid fans, and the groupies that come out of the woodwork.” He still had an arm around her, and he felt her tense.
She wasn’t naive in thinking that she wouldn’t be subjected to this kind of stuff if she came, that much was clear on her face. But he needed to drill this home with her so there were no surprises.
“The guys screw a lot of random chicks, Tanner, and you’ll see that if you are on the bus and even backstage, amongst a lot of other shit.”
She looked down at the ground and pulled away from him. “Will I see that from you?” Her voice was low, but was clear.
Had that been a part of his life for the past five years? Yeah, in all its gritty and filthy glory, but asking Tanner to come on tour with them was also because he was selfish. He wanted her, had always wanted her, and this seemed like the logical and smart step to ensure that. “The only one I want is you.”
She lifted her head and looked at him.
“Don’t give me an answer yet. Just think about it. We do have to head out in three days because we have a concert in Denver, but if you are still unsure by then take longer to decide. We can always come back to Brookstone once the tour in Colorado is over with.” He took her hand in his and gave it a light squeeze. “I just want you, only you.” He said it again, making sure to stare right in her eyes so she knew he was dead serious.
Why was it so imperative now that he make her understand how much he wanted her? He didn’t know, didn’t care, and was just going where it felt right. And it all felt right with Tanner.
But of course there was that nagging voice deep down inside of him that said something was going to get screwed up, and that being in the position he was in would eventually ruin what he wanted. Tanner was everything good and light, and there were parts of his life that were dark and bad.
He didn’t want that shitty part to seep onto her, and walking away from her would have been the right thing to do. But he was a selfish bastard, and if he did let her go he would forever wonder what would have happened if he had actually tried being with her. Hell, he might still lose her if she didn’t want to go.
That would suck, but at the same time that was okay because it would have been her decision and he had put himself out there.
Life on the road and living a musician’s life would put a lot of things in perspective to her, and also show her that it wasn’t all fame, cash, and parties.
9
Tanner sat on the couch with a very hungover and slightly depressed looking Zoe right beside her. Zoe still had on her dark sunglasses from the ride back to Brookstone from Aspen, and that was three hours ago.
“So, have you decided what you’re going to do?” Zoe had her head resting on the back of the couch and turned it so she could look at Tanner. She tried to sound upbeat, but there was this off sound in her voice.
“You asked me that ten minutes ago.” Tanner rested her head on the couch, too, and looked up at the ceiling. Her parents were gone for most of the day shopping, and although she would eventually have to talk to them—very soon in fact if she decided she did want to go on tour with Twisted Feather—she was glad the house was quiet so she could think.
“I don’t know what there is to think about, Tanner.” Zoe sounded sleepy although it was already going on two