that I never wanted to see his disgusting, small-dicked, cheating face again. And he left.”
Of course, I don’t mention that I curled up into a ball on my bed and cried for a few hours, and questioned myself and why men seem to think it’s okay to walk all over me like a doormat.
Because no one will ever see that side of me.
“My man picker is broken,” I announce and take a big bite of roasted grape and brie crostini with honey and sea salt and immediately—and silently—praise Mia’s culinary genius. “Which is fine, because I’m done with men.”
“It’s not broken, it’s off-kilter,” Riley says with a smile. “Maybe you need a break from men for a while. You didn’t take much time after the split with Craig before Jeremy got his meat hooks into you.”
I frown, surprised that the ache that used to come when someone mentioned Craig’s name isn’t there anymore.
“I still want to punch Craig,” Kat mutters into her glass. “I was pulling for him.”
“Another musician,” Riley says with a shrug. “Granted, one that we all thought was a descent human being, and was with you for the better part of eight years, but still. A musician.”
“It was never going to work out with Craig,” I reply with a sigh. “Even though we both tried for a long time. Longer than we should have. I’m needy. I want to be with a man on a regular basis, not just hear their voice over the phone, and he was always touring.”
“You’ll find a non-musician, non–bad boy,” Mia says with confidence.
“Yes, for the love of all that’s holy, stop dating the bad boys,” Cami adds. “Although, with the outfit you’re wearing, you’ll attract every boy—bad or otherwise—in a ten-mile radius.”
I glance down at my black skinny jeans, red camisole, and black leather vest, then back at Cami. “What’s wrong with my outfit?”
“Not one thing,” Kat replies with a grin. “And those red heels are to die for. Not to mention the red streaks in your hair.”
“You never look the same two days in a row,” Riley says. “I love it.”
I shrug. “The way I look doesn’t seem to have anything to do with men being faithful to me.”
“That’s because you pick idiots.” Mia takes another bite of asparagus and frowns at her fork.
“I know what you need,” Riley announces. “You need a sexcation man.”
I swallow the wine in my mouth and frown at my friend. “A what?”
“You need to find a guy that you can just call up like once a month and go see him—”
“But he doesn’t live here,” Cami adds, surprising the hell out of me. “You have to travel to see him.”
“Right, because you don’t need him to be hanging around, mooching off of you, or generally just annoying the hell out of you,” Kat says with a nod.
“Exactly,” Riley says and grins. “So, he lives in like Seattle or maybe San Francisco, ’cause that’s just a short flight. And you go see him for a couple days, have a lot of crazy sex, then come home and get back to your life. Everyone’s happy. No strings.”
I feel like I’m watching some sort of sports game as I look from friend to friend, trying to follow this crazy conversation.
And it’s even crazier because I kind of like this idea.
“But he can’t be a musician,” Mia adds.
“No way,” I reply, getting into the spirit. “Been there, regretted that. But he has to have a good job. A really good job. And he’s really smart.”
“And knows his way around the bedroom,” Kat says.
“Or kitchen,” Cami says with a smirk.
“Or bathroom. Water play is fun,” Mia adds.
“Or balcony,” Riley says, raising her glass in salute.
I can’t stop laughing. Oh my God, these girls are so funny.
“This is why we’re friends,” I say, wiping a tear from the corner of my eye. “Also, he has to have awesome abs. Like, abs for days. And maybe blond hair. Blue eyes. Green? No, blue.”
I’m babbling now, and the girls are all smiling, but just watching me, letting me ramble.
“I like tattoos, but they’re not a deal breaker. He has to be tall. Taller than me for sure. And he can do this thing with his—”
I glance up and notice Cami look over my shoulder and smile wider and I stop midsentence.
“Oh God. Who’s behind me?”
“Hi, Jake,” Mia says and wiggles her fingers in a wave.
I drop my chin to my chest and mutter, “Fuck me.”
Suddenly, warm lips are next to my ear,