she did. She gave me a hug as if we were old friends and asked me all about my life. And she told me that you were in the dressing room.”
“Did she say something to you?” I ask.
“Well, she wasn't as obvious as she was before. But as soon as I walked away and she thought that I was out of earshot, I heard her tell everyone how fat I used to be and ‘how unfortunate it was that I didn't really get a handle on my weight.’”
“Oh, no," I whisper. “I'm so sorry.”
When I look at her eyes, I realize that there is more to it.
“What else?” I ask.
“Nothing, it doesn't matter.”
"What else happened?"
"I heard your mom mention something,” she says reluctantly.
I fold my fingers into my palm and press until it hurts.
“What did she say?” I ask, clearing my throat.
“She said how pretty I would be if I were to lose all of this weight.”
“I'm so, so sorry,” I say, putting my arm around her shoulder.
“I don't know why I’m telling you any of this. You must think that I'm a total idiot. I mean, we were friends all those years ago, but you don't even know me.”
I take a deep breath.
“Karlie,” I say slowly, parsing my words. “The thing is that I don't have any friends. It's so stupid to say out loud because I have all these people around me but I don't have any friends. And you are the first person who has actually been honest with me about, well, anything.”
“I thought that you would be mad about me saying that about your mom,” Karlie admits.
“Maybe I should be. But I know that's exactly the kind of thing that she would say.”
We hold each other for a few moments.
“So why did you tell me?” I ask.
“I don't know, I guess I just felt like it. Maybe I wanted to see who you really are. I mean, we are connecting and having fun, but I don't really know you. I thought you would get mad and just push me away.”
“I'm glad you told me," I say quietly.
I take a sip of my wine and let it linger in my mouth for a few moments.
“This is the first honest conversation that I've had in a very long time. Ever since my breakup with… Henry.”
"Henry? Who is Henry?”
“He's my ex-boyfriend. No, he's more than that. He's a man that I thought that I was going to marry.”
“But you are marrying Franklin Parks, right?”
“Yes, we are engaged.”
Karlie keeps asking me more questions about Franklin and Henry, questions that I cannot answer truthfully. Given how honest she has been with me, I don't want to lie.
“How long have you been dating?” she asks.
“About a month,” I say.
This is the truth on paper, but technically it's a lie. We haven't been dating at all. But I don't know her well enough to tell her this quite yet.
“A month doesn't seem like a very long time, but your mother and your friends seem to be really excited for you.”
“All that Ellis cares about is the fact that I’m marrying someone so prominent.”
“And what about your mother?”
I swallow hard and then take a deep breath.
“I can't tell you everything right now,” I say. “There are a lot of things going on and a lot of things that are beyond my control. But I don't want to mislead you and I don't want to lie to you because I haven't talked like this with anyone in a long time and I don't wanna lose that.”
“Okay,” she says slowly. “I guess I can understand that.”
I let out a sigh of relief, thinking that the conversation is finally over. But then she turns to me and takes my hand in hers.
“I just want you to know that you don't have to marry him. You shouldn't have to marry anyone you don't love. And it doesn't matter how much of the wedding planning is done and it doesn't matter that you have already spent $85,000 on the wedding dress.”
I take a deep breath and exhale.
I wanted someone to say this out loud just to know that I’m not insane for thinking this.
But she doesn’t know the details.
She doesn't know the conditions that I'm under or the fact that I don't really have a choice.
13
Aurora
Karlie and I spend the whole afternoon together and, afterward, I invite her to my apartment for dinner. She is not supposed to stay long but we end up talking and laughing well into