been unable to afford any more trips to Canterbury, but we had enough to send new letters to Papa each week. He didn’t write back, but we allowed ourselves to hope that he was well. As dangerous as hope was, I had also learned that life was bleak without it.
Summer had come, and the warm air was a balm to my soul. Today, I walked alongside the stream behind Sedgwick Manor, listening to the buzzing insects and thick sloshing of my boots on the wet grass. Sophia was spending the day with Anne in town, who had come to visit, so my duties were few.
I followed the stream to the edge of the property before sitting down on a patch of dry grass, leaning back on my hands. The sun warmed my cheeks, making my eyelids heavy, and I nearly fell asleep sitting up.
“Tillie!”
I jumped at the sound of Mama’s voice, blinking the orange and yellow sunlight spots from my vision. She came slowly into focus: Her gray dress, white apron, dark hair, and tear streaked cheeks.
I scrambled to my feet, fear knocking against my chest. “What is the matter?”
She covered her mouth with one hand, and when she pulled it away, she was smiling. Relief crashed over my shoulders, but it was quickly replaced by curiosity. “Mama, what is it?” I walked closer, taking her by the shoulders.
“I received a letter from Mr. Baker.” She wiped her cheeks, her eyes flooding with a new bout of tears. “He has repealed his accusations against your father. He was released last week and is expected to return home any day now.”
I gasped, throwing my arms around Mama. The joy and relief that flooded my entire body was indescribable, and I could hardly catch my breath as tears filled my own eyes. “How?”
Mama shook her head, her hair sticking to my wet cheek. “Mr. Baker’s explanation was brief, but he did apologize for the state he left our family in. He claims he was humbled by a relative who ultimately convinced him to have a change of heart.”
I pulled back, blinking rapidly to clear my vision. “A relative? Did he mention a name?”
“No.” She glanced heavenward. “But he is an angel, whoever he is.”
My heart hammered against my chest. Had Mr. Hill’s efforts truly succeeded? The last time we had spoken he had not sounded very hopeful that his uncle could be persuaded. What else had he done? Had he realized that I was the maid I had spoken of, not Jessie? If he knew my name, he would surely recognize my connection to my father. Tears filled my eyes again, my emotions too scattered to be contained. “But where will Papa go now? How will he find work? Disgrace will follow him wherever he goes.”
“We will find our way as we always have.” Mama squeezed my hand. “What matters is that he is free and alive.”
I nodded. I hardly noticed how wet my feet were inside my boots and how soaked the hem of my dress had become, standing so close to the stream beside Mama. My heart and head swirled with too many emotions and questions to dwell on anything else.
Papa was coming home.
“I’ve another letter for you,” Mama said, digging into her apron pocket. She sniffed, wiping her nose as she extended the letter to me. “I do not recognize the name of the gentleman.”
My heart gave a leap even before I even took the letter from her hand. There was only one gentleman who would ever write to a maid. My hand shook as I took the letter, and I struggled to tear the seal. The moment it unfolded, a long blue silk ribbon fluttered to the ground. I picked it up before it could become soaked, rubbing the soft fabric between my fingertips. My heart pounded so hard it hurt, and hope gripped me so hard I was sure I couldn’t move even if I wished to. My eyes took in the writing on the page, and I held the ribbon against my chest.
Dearest Tillie,
I do not know what you are thinking, but I can make my best attempt at guessing your thoughts. I have become quite skilled in trying to understand all the things you will not say aloud. At this moment, you are likely thinking how strange it is that I remembered the very ribbon you admired at the modiste’s, but you should not be surprised. You and everything you do and say are unforgettable