have avoided it entirely?”
“I was trying to avoid something else entirely,” I grumbled.
“What was that?”
I sighed, turning my attention to the path ahead.
“Were you trying to avoid me?” Mr. Hill’s voice stabbed at my chest. His tone was more reserved than usual.
There was no way to avoid his question, and my mind was racing too much to come up with an answer.
A deep chuckle surprised me, and I glanced down to see Mr. Hill’s teasing smile. “I will take your hesitation as my answer.”
Irritation bit at me, but I pushed it away. Isn’t that what I wanted him to think? I had been working to ensure that he knew I was not eager to make his acquaintance, but that hadn’t worked. I had been certain my behavior the day before had deterred him, but why then was there an edge of disappointment behind his voice? What on earth could have given him any reason to desire my good opinion?
I sat up straighter on the horse. No good would come from focusing on my own desires. Maids did not think of themselves, but only of their employers and their needs and desires. Sophia had sent me here with one specific objective, and she had been so confident in my success. Even I had been confident. How could a man like Mr. Hill ever look at me with anything but disapproval? How could anyone? My chest tightened with disappointment of my own. Could I not do anything right?
My silence persisted for far too long, and I could feel Mr. Hill watching me as we moved down a slope on the path, one that was thankfully free of mud and water. There was some explanation he was waiting for, but my thoughts fell silently on my lips. Finally, I managed a few small words. “You are right, Mr. Hill.” I swallowed. “I was indeed avoiding you. I didn’t wish to be teased about my singing again.” I gave a small smile. All the lightness of my words was meant to dispel was the weight in the air, but it only seemed to arouse Mr. Hill’s curiosity even further.
“I have begun to notice there are two things you are quite hesitant to give up,” he said in a thoughtful voice.
My brow furrowed, and I pressed my lips together. Why was Mr. Hill taking time to notice things about me? That went directly against my goals, yet my stomach gave an unwelcome flutter as a slow smile stole over his lips. My curiosity couldn’t be helped. “There are a great deal more than two things, but I should like to hear what you think.”
He laughed softly. “Well, I do not doubt that. But the two things I have noticed are two things I would most like to see from you. First, the truth, and second, your smiles.”
True to form, my face flooded with heat.
“You give up your charming blushes quite easily, though, for which I am grateful.” He gave a lopsided smile, and I wanted to bury my face in the horse’s mane.
“They are not given voluntarily, I assure you.” My voice was nothing but a mutter. “I am simply…not accustomed to men like you.”
“And what sort of man do you think I am?” Mr. Hill’s blue eyes were soft, but unrelenting.
“You are quite difficult to decipher,” I said quietly.
“I cannot possibly be more difficult to decipher than you are.”
I sighed, pressing down the smile that threatened my lips. “I suppose that is probably true.”
“I should like to hear what you think,” Mr. Hill said. “What sort of man am I, according to what you have observed?”
As much as I tried, I couldn’t convince myself to be silent. I was supposed to be aloof and distant, but as strange as it was, this conversation was comfortable and easy, even with mud splattered all over me, and with Jessie gripping the backs of my shoulders for balance atop an uncomfortable saddle. “Well, I believe you are quite mysterious, and perhaps you revel in that fact. You enjoy attention from ladies, and you enjoy making them blush and smile and fall in love with you. I suspect it could be a game of sorts, your flirtations. A way to pass the time and entertain yourself.” My voice carried an edge of accusation and far more curiosity that it should have. I quickly corrected myself. There were other things I had observed. “And you also seem to be a very kind man, what with your helping my maid