a mutter.
Mr. Hill nudged my chin up with one knuckle, his smiling eyes boring into mine with inquiry. A string of shivers spread down my neck at his touch. “What did you say?”
My mind was suddenly quite blank, and I grasped for the memory like grasping at smoke in the air.
Mr. Hill had never touched my face before.
If he had, I would have certainly remembered it. Perhaps not now, however, as every thought seemed to have fled my mind. I could already feel the cursed heat spreading in my cheeks, and I willed it to stop, but it refused to obey. I prayed the room was dark enough to hide the color. But the warmth could not be hidden. Mr. Hill’s fingers grazed my cheek as he tucked a limp curl behind my ear. There was a certain reluctance in his movements, and his smile faltered slightly as he lowered his hand to his side.
I breathed as steadily as I could, taking a minuscule step backward. The extra distance served to clear my mind for a brief moment. “You will tease me for it.”
“Surely what you said was deserved,” Mr. Hill said before clearing his throat, taking a step backward as well. Perhaps he had also noticed how improper our proximity was, especially being alone in a dim room.
“In essence, I called her proud.”
His eyebrows rose and a fresh smile tugged on his mouth. “That is not unkind at all. That is entirely truthful.”
“The truth can be unkind at times.” And cruel, and bitter, and unfair. A pang of guilt struck me again at the reminder that I had not been truthful with Mr. Hill. I could not be. The fate of my family rested on my lies, and I couldn’t escape it.
“Indeed.” Mr. Hill’s eyes searched my face. “And that must be why you are often reluctant to give it. You cannot stand being unkind.”
I smiled at the ground, unsettled by the warmth in his gaze.
“There are times when I think the world does not deserve you. Surely I do not, and that is why our courtship is false.” There was a hint of teasing in his voice, but it seemed half-hearted.
My breath caught in my lungs like fabric snagging on a dull needle. How could he think he didn’t deserve me? He, the kind, generous, wealthy, handsome Mr. Hill—the man every woman wanted to marry. He could have anyone he wanted. So why did I feel as if it was me he wanted most? His words told one story, but his eyes told another, and I didn’t know which to believe. All I knew was that there was some truth hidden inside his voice and eyes and smile, and I would prefer the lies.
My voice shook as much as my hands. “Our courtship is false because you wished it to be. It is not a matter of whether or not you…deserve me. It is a matter of our own goals and convictions.” I bit my lip. “And I am fairly certain you have the matter backwards, Mr. Hill. It is I who is undeserving of you. Of-of your friendship. You have already helped me many times.”
He studied me for a long moment, his expression serious and contemplative. After several seconds, he smiled, but it was the same weak motion as before. “Well, it is a good thing we have our goals and convictions then. Otherwise we might have fallen madly in love by now.”
My heart leaped before I recognized the teasing glint in his eyes. My shoulders relaxed, but only a little. I took another step away from him, licking my lips and glancing at the floor. “I—I think we have strayed from the matter at hand.” I lifted my glove. “What to do with the necklace.”
Mr. Hill nodded, correcting his expression to one of solemnity. “We must put it back.”
“How?” I glanced at the closed doors of the library behind us. The ladies would be wondering where Mr. Hill was soon, and I couldn’t risk them finding us here.
He rubbed one finger under his chin in thought. “Meet me here again this evening. At midnight. Everyone will have gone to bed by then.”
My brow furrowed and I opened my mouth to speak, but he stopped me.
“We will sneak into the drawing room and replace it. In the morning, Mrs. Ollerton will assume she imagined it being missing at all.”
I gave a slow nod, though my stomach twisted. How wise was it to sneak around the house alone