was too tired to take showers might have. But when I was like this—like me—the me I should be, it looked totally different. Short and playful and a bit irreverent. Or was I just seeing myself in a different light? Was that it? I was no longer seeing the person I used to be a few days ago, but rather seeing the person I really was. And maybe that person had always been there, lurking just below the disinfected surface, waiting for something to bring her out, and that’s what the elevator had done. Losing my memories, forgetting who I was, had allowed me to become who I was supposed to be. I smiled at myself and then turned and rushed back out to Noah, but when I got there he was already in the water waiting for me.
“I thought you weren’t coming back,” he said.
I shook my head. “I’m back. I was just having a moment in the mirror.”
“Should I ask what that is?”
“It was nothing. Well, it was something. But it was a . . . wait. Are you . . . uh . . . naked . . . under the water?”
Noah laughed. “No!”
“So you’re not . . . ?”
“No! Why, do you want me to be?” he asked, his laughter stopping and my cheeks suddenly going very hot. I put my cool hands over them in an attempt to bring the general temperature down, but it didn’t work.
“I’m not very experienced in all this,” I blurted, getting the words out of my mouth as quickly as possible.
“What?”
“This!” I waved my hand around, indicating the space between us. “Flirting. Kissing. Going on dates. Swimming in a plunge pool in a romantic setting with a bloody monkey with a torn ear watching us.” I looked at the tree, and Noah followed my gaze.
“Yeah, I don’t have any experience in that either . . . monkeys.”
At that, the monkey bobbed his head from side to side and then shook the palm tree.
“The monkey agrees.” Noah smiled.
“I’m not joking, Noah. I’m not, I have no . . . I haven’t done this before. I know how lame that sounds. I’m almost thirty and I’ve hardly gone on any dates and my idea of romance is reading the same romance novel over and over again, highlighting the little bits I like and . . . uh . . . putting on lipstick.”
“You put lipstick on when you read?” he asked.
I cleared my throat. “You could say that, but that’s not the point anyway. Point is, the only sex I’ve had is bad sex. The only dates I’ve gone on have been bad dates. When I was on a dating app, I never made it past the first few messages, which means I’m clearly not very adept at flirting either. Especially after they send me those pictures of their . . .” I cringed. “I mean, that’s not exactly flirting is it? Send me a photo of your dick!” I shook my head rapidly, thinking about that one in particular where the guy had put a can of toilet spray next to it, obviously to show off his masculine prowess, but all I could think about was why one would use toilet spray in the first place. Very offputting. “My point is, Noah, wait, I’ve already said that, but I’m going to make this point soon. Give me a moment . . .” I paused, feeling a little flustered now. I took a deep, long, slow breath and steadied myself. “I’m probably going to be useless at all this stuff. Sexual innuendos and seduction and . . . why is the monkey still looking at us?” I glared up at the little gray beast and he let out an almighty shriek.
“I thought animals liked you again,” Noah said.
“Maybe it’s you he doesn’t like,” I returned, and picked up a few strawberries and tossed them into the bush. The monkey made a run for them and disappeared. “Right, where was I?” I turned my attention back to Noah, and he was looking at me in a way that made me stop breathing. His lips were slightly parted, his pupils seemed bigger suddenly and it didn’t look like he was blinking anymore.
“What?” I asked nervously. He took a step closer to me, and the water around him rippled and splashed against the sides of the pool. He climbed up the steps, then another one, and another, his body getting higher and higher out the