the side and opened it for her.
Fifteen. A police officer encouraging a fifteen-year-old girl to run, nowhere in particular, had to be wrong on too many levels to count. But that’s exactly what he did.
That girl took cautious steps, waiting for the trap to snap on her. There had to be a catch.
“You could freeze to death in one night or be raped and left for dead in a week. Tell me you understand.”
Jersey’s steps faltered at the threshold. “I understand.” Her voice was soft but sure.
“And we never had this conversation. If you’re not clear on that, then you can choose to get in my car, and we’ll find you a home.”
She nodded, putting one foot in front of the other until she stopped at the squad car. Maybe the next home would be like the Russells’—the good kind of love. That possibility gave her a moment’s pause. It was the other kind of love that kept her feet moving down the driveway.
Him. Before she cut him open with her knife. Him. With his creepy, old man funk. The putrid smell of his breath, something in between garlic and cigarettes mixed with a bit of booze.
Was that good?
The way she was made to sit next to him, at the table, on the couch, or in the car. Close enough for him to touch her with his rough, filthy hands and move her closer to him so she could touch him for his pleasure. The smell of him was always so overwhelmingly enhanced by the terrified moments of wondering how far it would go this time.
Was that good?
Love didn’t exist.
As the memories of that kind of love crawled up her throat from her churning stomach, she picked up speed until her legs took her far away from an awful past.
CHAPTER FOUR
Present
“The Russells were good people.” Chris hugged his knees to his chest, sitting next to Jersey on her mat. “I … I still can’t remember much, but I remember that. I remember they were good. I feel like I have more feelings than actual memories.”
Everyone else was gone, and it was a little after midnight. A single light in the corner by the sink flickered a few times, casting shadows on Chris’s swollen face.
Jersey crossed her outstretched legs, sliding her hands between them to keep warm. The heat in the building barely kept things from freezing, always dropping a good twenty degrees after the sweaty bodies exited at the end of the day.
Chris continued, “Fifteen. You must have felt so lost.”
She nodded. “Your friend …” Jersey brushed off his comment because lost wasn’t even close to how she felt. Eight years later, she still couldn’t find the right words. Of course she felt lost, but it was more. Lost felt like her normal. “How do you know it was your friend who killed them? Is he in prison? Please tell me he’s in prison.”
“He told me he did something—a mistake, an accident. He begged me for help.” Chris grimaced. “I … I told him he needed to go to the police. If…” his voice shook “…if it was an accident, then there wasn’t anything to fear. Right?”
Chris met Jersey’s gaze with pleading eyes as though he needed her to agree.
“No.” She shook her head with sharp jerks. “Running over innocent people and then just … taking off is not okay. What if they weren’t dead? What if he could have called for help and saved them? But he didn’t!” Jersey’s heart hammered with anger. “He left them to die. That he did on purpose. That wasn’t an accident.”
Resting his elbows on his bent knees, Chris dropped his head into his hands. “He didn’t go to the police. He must have told his parents. And I know they helped him. His wealthy … influential parents. Then he just disappeared. We were supposed to be friends, but he just left.”
“Left?” Jersey whispered. “You didn’t turn him in? You didn’t go to the police?”
“No … no … I just …”
“You just what?” She shoved him.
He fell to the side, pressing his hand to the icy floor to keep from losing the rest of his balance.
Jersey shoved him again. “What is wrong with you? He ran over Dena and Charles. You knew, but you didn’t do one fucking thing?”
“Stop!” He held up his arm to protect his face. “I don’t … I don’t remember. Just stop! I-I just remembered my own name today! My name. Do you get that? Do have any idea what