head. “I don’t know. It’s hard to explain, but he’s hiding something from me. I can feel it. I can see it in his eyes. It’s guilt and something else I can’t quite figure out. Anger? Resentment? I don’t know. But I’m afraid to mention Dena’s and Charles’s names, and—” She watched some of the crew squeeze past them.
Chris nodded toward the other hallway. She followed him into the dimly lit area.
“People don’t like to keep this shit to themselves.” Chris leaned close to her so no one could hear him. “The guilt. It’s too much. He’s dying to tell someone. He has to be. All these years of keeping it to himself, there’s no way it’s not taking its toll. You … he’ll tell you. But he has to trust you more than anyone else. You have to gain his trust, Jers.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know how to do that. I’ve tried to get close to him. He pushes me away.”
“He’s a guy. Crawl into his bed. Suck his dick.”
Jersey scowled.
Chris held up his hands. “I’m not pimping you out to a murderer. I’m giving you a chance for revenge. Don’t look at me like I’ve offended you, like you’re too goody-goody for the job. I’ve seen where you live, how you bathe, the dumpsters where you find food … it’s called survival, and you damn well know it.”
Chewing on the inside of her cheek, she averted her gaze. “For your information, I’ve tried to crawl into his bed. He dismissed me.”
“Because you didn’t suck his dick.”
“Not my thing.”
Chris grinned. “It’s not any woman’s thing. It’s not supposed to be. It’s a guy’s thing.”
“Then you suck his dick.”
Chris shrugged. “Statistically, he’s most likely going to want you to do it, but if you try and he stays limp in your mouth, let me know. I’ll see what I can do.”
“You’re disgusting.” Her nose wrinkled.
“Every guy is disgusting. Even the ones who have a wife and two bratty little kids sitting next to them at church every Sunday morning. If you think for one second that they’re focused on salvation instead of their secretary blowing them in their office the next morning, then you’re just too damn naïve.”
Jersey blinked several times. “Do you think of me blowing you?”
“I jerk off to the image of it at least twice a day.”
Her eyes narrowed into menacing little slits as she balled her fists.
“No.” Chris laughed. “You don’t get to be pissed off about that. If anything, I should get points for honesty. But if it makes you feel better, I’ve imagined Max doing it to me wearing nothing but her fancy white wool coat, and definitely your buddy Dani because she has her tongue pierced and that’s gotta feel like fucking nirvana.”
“I thought you were different than all the perverted thugs at Marley’s.” Jersey stepped away from him, walking backward down the hallway.
“Different? No. More self-controlled? Yes.”
Jersey stopped, tugging on her ponytail to tighten it. “Am I good?”
Chris lifted his chin, squinting his eyes.
“In your fantasies … am I good?” She smirked.
Even with the dim lighting, she could see his cheeks turn red. “Yeah, Jers … you’re my favorite fantasy.”
As she turned the corner to find Max, Jersey saw the band members exiting the building at the far end of the hallway. Everyone except Ian.
“Max!” Jersey jogged toward the door to the green room just as Max grabbed the handle. “Is he in there?”
“Yes.”
“I need to see him.”
“No.” Max winked at Jersey. A stupid wink like they were playing a game or telling jokes.
No game.
No jokes.
“Why are you telling me no? And what’s up with the winking? You suck at it in a really creepy way like your fake lashes are tickling your eyeball.”
Max returned a twisted grin. “Funny. And I’m telling you no because he’s having a muscle spasm in his back, and Nick is working on him, trying to get him comfortable enough to get to the hotel.”
“Oh, well I just need a few minutes with him.”
“Nope. Sorry Jersey, maybe later.”
“Can you at least give him a note for me?”
“Text him.”
Jersey scowled at Max.
Max rolled her eyes and dug through her handbag for a receipt and a pen. “You should use some of that newly earned cash of yours to buy a phone.”
“I don’t have anyone to call.”
“Ian … apparently you could call him, so I don’t have to pass notes during study hall for you.”
Jersey returned a sour face as Max handed her the receipt and pen.