the envelope.
I dumped the ultrasound pictures to the desk and studied them.
It had been a few weeks since we went to see the doctor.
Dr. Haime was good at his job and good at keeping his mouth shut. He didn’t ask questions, other than about the health of Maya and the baby.
She was definitely pregnant. The baby was definitely mine.
Unless Maya had sex with someone else that week which she swore on her life she didn’t.
Dr. Haime gave Maya a list of things to do and not to do. When he started talking about vitamins and all that, I told him to get her exactly what she needed and to just bill me. I also had it so all of Maya’s appointments would be with him and it would all be private, in secret, and she was to have twenty-four-seven access to him.
Everything was in place.
But it still didn’t feel…
I wasn’t sure.
The ultrasound picture wasn’t much to see.
The black and white picture with the small, white, peanut shaped figure.
And that was it.
That was a baby.
A baby that Maya and I made during one wild night of drunk sex.
It was the forever kind of moment that just happened without reason.
My desk phone rang.
I hurried to sweep up the ultrasound pictures and put them back into the envelope and into my desk.
“Maya,” I said as I took the call.
“Your brother is on the line.”
“Okay.”
I sighed and waited to hear Cody’s voice.
“What did you think?” Cody asked.
“Of what?”
“My name.”
“Your name?”
“Didn’t she tell you my name?”
“No.”
“What the hell?” Cody asked. “It was a good one.”
“What was it, Cody?”
“Dr. Stuckafingerinmyass,” Cody said with a laugh.
I smiled. “Nice one.”
“Whoa. You sound extra tight today, brother. You okay?”
“I’m busy right now.”
“Still need me to lay low?”
“Are you still messing around with pills?”
“Nah. No more pills. I ditched them. Too expensive.”
I shut my eyes. “Cody, are you getting that messed up again? Let me help you.”
“Help me? Oh, don’t do that, Cole. Don’t send the pity patrol my way. Just because you got the good dreams and I got left behind.”
“Cody, come on,” I said. “We were both hurt as kids. You know I’ll always have your back. I was there too.”
“Oh, wow. So now you want to talk about the past? You never want to talk about the past.”
“I just want you to be okay.”
“You’re so sweet,” Cody said. “Where was this version of my brother years ago? Wait a second… you’re being nice to me. Did you just get laid? No. Wait. You’re in a relationship. Shit. No. That’s not it either. Oh, fuck, Cole…”
“What?” I asked.
“You’re in trouble,” Cody said. “You always get mushy when you’re in trouble. What happened? Who do I need to beat up? I have nothing to lose so I can go wild.”
“Goodbye, Cody,” I said. “I don’t have time for you right now.”
I hung up the phone and stood up.
I reached for the drawer where the ultrasound pictures were, but I stopped myself.
“No,” I said.
I didn’t need to see them again.
I needed to take action.
Take charge.
I needed to control something.
Maya appeared in my doorway, holding another folder.
I saw the small bump at the bottom of her shirt again.
I curled my lip.
“Get in here, Maya, we need to talk.”
I tossed the folder to the desk.
She just stood there, like nothing was wrong.
She’s playing her part. You gave her this part to play. That was the agreement. She was going to keep the pregnancy a secret the best she could. And when it was time to talk about it, she would just say it’s her business. Let everyone think what they wanted.
I couldn’t stop seeing the bump.
It was so small and subtle… but to me it could have been a watermelon under her shirt.
It was just more proof that this was really happening.
That our decision months ago was front and center on display.
Speaking of that… I was pissed that this deal was still lingering all this time later.
And then Cody calling me and trying to call me out…
“Your roommate,” I said to Maya. “She’s crazy.”
“Bev is something, yes. Why?”
“She just prints on shirts all day?”
“Yeah.”
“She makes a living at that?”
“I guess. I don’t know. Why?”
“The smell of the ink,” I said. “That was disgusting.”
“Yeah, it’s potent,” Maya said.
“It’s chemicals, Maya. Probably toxic.”
“I don’t know. I haven’t looked into it.”
I pointed to her stomach. “That’s my child in there.”
“I know,” she said, her cheeks turning red.
“I’m not going to let you hurt my child.”
“What?”
“You can’t be in that apartment anymore,” I said. Yes, yes,