down, shove her against the mounting block and try climbing back up, but by the time I reach the top, she’s moved just out of reach.
“I will turn you into dog food if you don’t listen,” I growl.
She doesn’t seem concerned, so I climb back down, say fuck it to the stupid mounting block and swing up onto her back.
“I thought you told me you have to get on from the mounting block,” Finn says.
Of course that’s the moment he turns around. “Yes, because you are a human and your body is weak,” I say.
His eyes narrow. “Liar.”
“Hmm… nope.”
He clicks to the horse and she starts walking. “I like this horse more than you now. She’s so sweet.”
The horse merrily carries him around the arena, listening oddly well to him. Strangely well…
I click to mine to push her into a trot so we can catch up with Finn. Instead of jumping into a trot, her tail switches and she abruptly stops to scratch her leg.
“Horse,” I whisper. “You’re supposed to make me look good and sexy, and instead Finn is making laps around us on the old nag.”
She has to be pulling my leg at this point. No animal needs to scratch their leg for this long. I tap her with my heels and she puts her leg forward, like she’s going to walk on, before stopping to scratch her other leg.
“What are you doing?” Finn asks.
“She’s scratching her legs and I’m kindly waiting for her to finish,” I growl.
A smile bursts onto his face. “Doesn’t sound very kind when you growl at her,” Finn teases. “Ooh. Can you make her go fast? I want to watch you go fast.”
“It’s too little of an area to go too fast but I can have her lope in here. It’s like a slow run.”
“Yes! That!”
“Alright,” I say as I tap her with my heels and click to her. She sighs but starts walking like I’m asking her to carry a thousand-pound weight up a hill for ten hours straight. She literally just has to walk a straight line. “Walk on, horse.”
I press my heels into her sides and ask her to lope. She jumps into the fastest ball-crushing trot instead. I give her another nudge and I’m quickly proven wrong that she can’t trot faster. And then she finally leaps into a lope, goes three strides before seeing a water tank and skidding to a halt in front of it so quickly that it’s just pure luck I didn’t dive headfirst into it.
“No,” I growl and pull her away.
“Why’d you deprive her of water?” Finn asks like I’m heartless.
“Because she’s not listening to me. She’s had all day to drink.”
“Maybe she’s really thirsty.”
And there I am, letting a horse get its way because Finn is treating me like I’m abusing her. She immediately takes her upper lip and starts splashing water around and Finn rides right over to me like he knows exactly what he’s doing.
“Does it look like she’s drinking?” I ask as the horse splashes water merrily.
“I don’t know how horses drink. Do they lap? Because if they lap like a dog, then… no.”
“No. They don’t lap. They just like… slurp it up.”
“What’s she doing now?” he asks.
I watch as the horse lowers her face until the water is up to her eyes and I have to admit that I really have no idea what she’s doing. Most horses don’t generally dunk their heads in the water trough.
“Can she breathe? Oh my god. Does she hate you so much she’s trying to drown herself?”
Hopefully, then I’ll go find a new horse. I pull back on the reins as Finn cackles to himself. “You’re not cute or funny.”
“Sundance thought I was hilarious, didn’t you?” he asks as he scratches her neck.
I force Rayne to the other side of the arena as she walks like a drunk. She can’t walk a straight line to save her life, and her life might be very short indeed if she doesn’t get with the program. The goal of this date was to make me look good. To show Finn that while I may not understand the art of… roller skating, I’m good at just about everything else. Usually extremely good at horses, but this isn’t a horse. This is a monster I’m on top of.
“What’s this?” Finn asks as he easily guides his horse over to a wooden platform lying in the middle of the arena.
“It’s called a bridge. It’s for training them to go