much Finn probably relied on Orin for most of these things that he now tells or shares with me. “Do you… want to go talk to him?”
Orin leans back and crosses his arms before giving me a soft smile. “Nope. I’m sure you’re handling it just fine. He’s an adult now with a partner who loves and cares for him. I don’t need to be his rock every time. I pass the baton to you if you’d like to take it.”
“I wish there was no baton needing passed,” I say. “But I’ll do everything I can to take it. Whenever he wakes up like that, I’m so filled with rage and anger that I want to tear the world apart and destroy the man who dared make him feel this way, but I also know I have to keep a clear head so I can give Finn what he needs at that moment.”
Orin nods as he gives me a sad look. “I understand. I felt that way so many times that I threw myself into trying to find the monster, trying to destroy him, but I found nothing. And I soon realized that I wasn’t making Finn any better by fixating on it. That my topmost priority was helping him heal and return to his former self.”
I grab a cup from the cupboard before turning to him. “Well, you must have done a great job because he turned out pretty well.”
“Ah, I can’t take credit for that. Finn is the most stubborn person I’ve ever met. He refuses to let anything get him down.”
“He gets a little… hung up on that sometimes, though. Like… I want him to talk to me or open up to me, but he just keeps it all locked down.”
Orin leans back in his chair. “He was like that since he was a kid. I think it’s something he learned in his childhood. You have to remember that his mother didn’t take care of him or his sister. He practically raised Aria when he was just a child himself. So he learned how to put on this façade so he’d come off as unbelievably strong and determined. He’s just never lost that.”
I hadn’t thought about that. I’d been so fixated on everything that happened with that man, I’d pushed his shitty childhood to the side. “That makes a lot of sense.”
“Have the nightmares been bad?” Orin asks.
“Not too bad. Maybe once a month. Did they used to be worse?”
Orin nods. “They said it was a result of PTSD. That people with it will replay the memory in their dreams… they’ll have to live through it as if it’s happening again. But he got better as he got older.”
I hate that he’s dealt with this for so long and now it’s worsening again. “This… bullshit is probably making it worse. Do you think I’m the reason he’s come back? I know he was following Finn for years but he’s escalated recently. Is it because of me?” It’s a question I’ve asked myself again and again, but it’s the first time I’ve managed to say it out loud. Because if it’s me, if it’s true, I would have to be prepared to leave him to keep him safe.
Orin seems to think about it for a moment. “I don’t know why it’s worse. The thing is… he could have taken Finn at any point when you weren’t around. I’m not sure I’m strong enough to protect him and hell, I didn’t even know it was happening. But he never took him.”
“I think he enjoys toying with him or watching him. Obviously, it’s impossible to get into his head, but I think there’s some type of obsession with Finn being his or being ruled by his fear of him.”
“But again, does he want him? If he does, why hasn’t he come for him?” Orin asks.
I shake my head, not truly knowing, but having dealt with enough bad people to have a semblance of an idea. “I think it’s just an obsession. It seems like once he has someone, he kills them, like the girls. Maybe he doesn’t want to kill Finn? Maybe he’s afraid that if he takes Finn, he’ll kill him. I think he also wants Finn to know he can ruin or control his life. I don’t know. But I do know I have the best damn detectives and my godawful brother on this and we’re going to outsmart him. We’re going to figure it out and keep