Dillion cried too much, I asked for too much. It was no wonder I had no confidence, spending so many years with a man not capable of showing emotion, not even to his own flesh and blood.
Then there was Fenixx. He had only been in our lives for the briefest time, but already he and my son had started bonding. I heard Fenixx this and Fenixx that from Dillion at the dinner table every night before I headed in to take care of the night shift at the restaurant.
It was sad because Alec was Dillion’s dad, and he didn’t care. Even sadder was Dillion didn’t either. Months before Fenixx came along, Dillion stopped talking about his dad, stopped asking if Alec called while he was at school. This week not once did he tell me he planned on texting his father, no talk about seeing Alec for his upcoming birthday. Last year Alec pulled out of plans to pick up Dillion and take him back to the city for a week, so Dillion could see his grandparents and be included in the celebrations. That had hurt my kid, ensuring a colossal argument on the phone between not only Alec and me, but another one with Alec’s mother.
The difference between Alec’s family and Nixx’s was huge and was going to take some getting used to if this spark between Fenixx and I was heading where I hoped it was going.
As was the affection from Fenixx, his arms closed around me again, his large hands holding the reigns loosely but commandingly. The brute of a horse moved forward, starting his slow amble to wherever Fenixx was taking me. Hell, he could take me wherever he wanted, especially if I am to get more kisses, cuddles and his deep voice telling me more about himself.
I knew the silence that had settled around us was due to my off-hand comment about possibly being shit at sex. Fenixx’s reaction had been flash quick, but I heard the low rumbled growl as he swung himself up on the horse behind me. I was glad that he didn’t ask me to explain myself, at least he wasn’t demanding it from me yet but knowing Fenixx Hott, it was coming.
“So,” I started, eager to end the silence, “you like me calling you honey and Nixx?”
“Yes I do, baby,” Nixx chuckled, steering the horse down along a creek bed. The scenery was breathtaking, so much more of the mountains could be seen from here than in town, even despite its small size and lack of tall buildings. Here, there was nothing to interfere with the imagery of the ranges and the beauty they offered.
Nixx peppered small kisses along the base of my neck, the touch of his lips creating a line of goosebumps on my skin and chorus of tingles in my core.
“You know we are going to talk about that ridiculous comment baby, don’t you?” Nixx whispered sternly in my ear, his teeth grazing my lobe deliciously.
“I expect we will but not now, okay?”
Nixx grunted but said no more, thankfully. My confidence in myself was going to be an issue, how much I wasn’t sure just yet. I’d never had sex with the light on, in the years I was married and before, never ever once gotten completely naked in front of my husband, nor had I showered with him or dressed together in the same room. Something told me Nixx wasn’t going to stand for any of that.
Wrapping each of my hands over his forearms, I eased as far into his chest as I could without pushing Nixx off the saddle. The leather was comfortable but definitely not made for two people to sit on at once. Nixx’s hum of approval warmed me, the way his upper arms tightened around me, making me let out a sigh of my own. This man was one of a kind, and he wanted me.
“Come for dinner tonight, at my place?” I asked timidly. I was still unsure about our age gap, it seemed unfathomable that a man of only thirty was happy to go out with an older woman, but at the same time, this spark between us was too hard to ignore.
“Nothing else I’d rather do,” Nixx replied straightaway, pressing another kiss to my neck. “Absolutely nothing.”
***
“Geez Mum, why didn’t you tell me you were going to the farm today? I would have gone with you,” Dillion moaned, as he set the table for dinner later that evening. Nixx