a wreck from the exertions of the last month, it was wonderful.
"I take it all back," he said afterward. "That place wasn't perfect. It needed you."
"You hurt my thumb," she said, and then it was time to fix breakfast for little Dern, while Blessin pumped away on Cirith's breast. Billin tried getting out of bed, but he couldn't manage it. "Maybe this afternoon," he said.
But that afternoon he slept again, and as the sun set he woke to find Hoom beside his bed.
"Hello, Hoom. How long have you been waiting there?"
"Not long."
"Good."
Long pause. Billin decided that whatever Hoom had come to say must not be very pleasant, or he would have said it by now.
"Say it," Billin urged.
"We've talked about it - "
"We meaning the four Wardens of Stipock City - "
Hoom sat up rigidly. "How can you call us that?"
"You came to tell me," Billin said. "So tell me. You four have talked about it and you decided - or rather, Stipock decided and the three of you chirped back what he wanted to hear - and now you want to warn me not to tell people about what I found in the south."
"You don't have to see it that ugly unless you really want to."
"I should cover my eyes? I see what is."
Hoom smiled. "Does anybody see what is?"
"Least of all you, even when it's in front of your face."
"Sometimes," Hoom answered mildly (he doesn't understand, Billin thought contemptuously), "only the blind pretend to see. If you insist on telling people about what you say you found - what you believe you found - you'll only hurt yourself. No, that's not true - you'll hurt them, too, because they'll want so badly to believe in a place like that."
"Of course they'll want to believe it."
"For your own sake, then," Hoom said. And he left.
Billin felt better than he had since coming back - but even so, he would have stayed in bed if anger hadn't pulled him up and into his clothes and out the door of the house.
"Where are you going?" Cirith snapped as she saw him leaving.
"Visiting."
"At this time of night nobody wants to see you," she said.
"Mind your kitchen, woman," Billin answered. She kept grumbling after he left.
He went first to Serret's and Rebo's house. They were busy with putting children to bed (they had been twinned twice since coming to Stipock City ), but they greeted Billin kindly.
"Glad to see you up and about already," Serret said, and Rebo smiled and took off her apron (in tatters, Billin noticed, like all the cloth), bringing him a stool to sit on.
He immediately began telling them what he had found on his journey. They listened politely, smiled, nodded, answered his questions, asked a few (though not many). After a half hour of this Billin realized to his fury that they weren't excited about it. And why not? Their children were worse off than most, with bloated bellies that even Stipock said were a sign of a lack of food.
"You don't believe me, do you?" Billin abruptly asked, even while Rebo cooed softly about how wonderful his description of the rainfall sounded.
"Well, of course we believe you," Serret answered. Billin wasn't fooled. He took his leave quickly, went to another house.
It was late, and the lights were blown out in most of the houses when Billin finally gave up and came home. Cirith was waiting for him. She looked worried when he finally came to the door.
"Are you all right?" she asked.
Billin nodded, then shook his head. "Not one of them," he said, and she understood, and for once there was no banter, no complaint, she just came to him and held him and in his weariness and frustration he cried. The tears turned to anger quickly enough.
"How did they do it?" Billin demanded, pulling away from her and tossing a chair across the room. One of the children woke at the noise, cried out.
"Shhh," Cirith said, heading for the children's room.
"Not on your life!" Billin retorted. "I want to know how they did it! How did those damn self appointed gods get everybody to answer the same way - 'Yes, Billin, so glad you had a good time there, Billin, we're so pleased that your journey was successful, now get the hell out and let us get some sleep, Billin' - "
Cirith came to him and took his arms