to hire a nanny or line up babysitters. Something. Fuck, I never wanted kids. I’ve been careful because of that. They fuck everything up.”
“Surely you don’t really believe that,” I said. Shock slammed through me. As sweet as he could be, it was hard to believe he had such strong convictions related to children.
He huffed out a disgusted sound that somewhat passed for a laugh. “Don’t I? My parents’ relationship obviously didn’t survive having kids. Now we can barely be in the same room with each other as a family. The tension is usually so thick it could choke you.”
“I think that might be a rather harsh opinion,” I tried to argue. He shook his head and dropped it so his hair covered his face. I wanted to brush it back. Any excuse to touch him, no matter how dangerous I knew he was to my sanity.
“You have no idea what it was like.”
“No, but I know my parents are still together and happy. Not everyone who has kids falls apart. I’m sorry things didn’t work out with your parents, but that doesn’t mean it won’t for everyone who has children.” I didn’t know what else I could say to him when I was still reeling from the entire situation myself.
“We’re going to have to agree to disagree on that,” he said, then looked up at me. “I know this situation isn’t ideal and there isn’t much I can do right now, but I don’t want to lose you.”
“I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep.” His face fell at my words. “How about if you get things situated with little… uh, Hank… and then we’ll take things one day at a time.” Once things settled a little, we needed to revisit the conversation, because though I didn’t plan on having kids right that minute, I did eventually.
“Really?”
“Yes. But, in the future, you need to communicate with me. It’s not fair for me to get blindsided like that.”
“You mean like I was?” He huffed as he shook his head. He had a point and I felt bad, but he still should’ve told me as soon as he found out.
“Yeah.”
“Will you come back to the house tonight?” he asked me in a hopeful tone. His hand started to reach out for me and I drew back. He curled it up and set it back down.
Unsure how to answer him without sounding callous, I hesitated. My nail traced a scratch on my tabletop.
“I take it that’s a no?”
“Alex, I just don’t think tonight is a good idea. If you need help Thursday night for the game, I can probably watch him.” It took a helluva lot to make that offer. It wasn’t going to be easy taking care of a baby that Alex made with someone else, but it wasn’t the baby’s fault his mother was a flake. And I reminded myself, not only did all that happen before me, it might not be his.
Did it make me a bad person if I prayed it wasn’t?
“Thank you, but that’s not fair to you. I’ll figure something out.”
“Oh. Okay.” Relief washed through me, but I kept it hidden.
“I’m going to fix this. I’m not giving up on us. No matter what anyone else says,” he said with a determined glint in his eyes.
“What do you mean by that?” I questioned.
“Nothing. Never mind.” He stood, grabbed my hand, and hauled me down the hall toward the bathroom. He pulled me in and closed the door right as my brother stormed in and beat on the door. Alex flipped the lock and lifted me to the counter in one slick move.
He was standing between my spread knees and his hands were buried in my hair, cradling my head as he tipped it at the perfect angle. Before I could offer up a whimper of protest, his lips were on mine and we were grinding like horny teenagers.
My hands roamed and clawed his skin.
We both ignored my brother outside the door.
He broke away and we both gasped. “Holy shit.”
“Come back with me to my place,” he coaxed, and my traitorous body leaned into his.
I heaved a massive sigh as I studied him as if I needed to commit him to memory. As if this was goodbye.
“I can’t.” He had no idea how badly I wanted to go back to his house. The thing was, I also knew I had no control with him, and I’d end up in his bed and letting his dick make