room with the bullshit lie that I had a headache, and stared at my phone. Willing it to ring, I waited for Alex to call.
A least fifteen times throughout the afternoon, I’d started to google him or pull up his social media accounts. I’d rationalized and debated with myself each and every time. How would he really know if I’d looked? He wouldn’t.
Yet, I would know. Also, depending on what was there, he might know too. There was the very real possibility that I wouldn’t be able to keep it to myself if it made me angry. If he went to the trouble to have his brother visit me personally, I was pretty sure I was going to be angry.
“Ugh! Call already!” I whisper-yelled right against my screen.
When it actually rang, I jumped and dropped my phone. It bounced off my boob and to the floor. Of course, it skidded under the bed and I was chasing it the entire way as it continued to ring.
“Hello?” I said from halfway under my bed.
“Syd.” His warm honey voice poured over me through the phone. Was that relief I heard in his voice? It told me he didn’t think I’d answer, or he was worried I wouldn’t. Which really made me want to know what the fuck was going on.
“Alex, don’t ever pull some shit like that again,” I began.
“Syd, I can explain,” he started, but I cut him off.
“You sent Truth down to my work, Alex. So I spent all afternoon wondering what the heck he was talking about. If he hadn’t come by, I likely wouldn’t have even thought to look online or at your social media. But plant that little niggling seed, and I had to know.”
He groaned. “Syd… I’m so sorry.”
I paused in my thoughts. Heart racing, I lay on my floor, still half under my bed. Suddenly, I wasn’t so sure I wanted to know. All the worst possible things went through my head.
“What did you do?” I whispered over the whooshing in my ears and cracking of my heart that told me I’d gotten stupid and caught feelings for the dumb hockey player.
“I thought you saw it,” he said hesitantly.
“Nooo,” I said in a drawn-out fashion, half in warning. “I made myself keep my promise to Truth, but now you’re making me wish I hadn’t. What the hell is out there? What did you do?”
Though I was asking, I was really beginning to believe it was better I remained ignorant.
“Maybe we should wait and discuss this when I get back.”
“No.”
He sighed. “Okay. After I got off the phone with you, I joined the guys down at the hotel bar. We were kind of drinking away our sorrows. We don’t do it often. Not like that, I mean.”
He paused, and I waited. “Okay?” I prompted.
“I guess I… uh… well…”
“Spit it out, Alex, for fuck sake.” If he told me he fucked some random chick while he was there, I was going to puke right there under my bed. We weren’t a thing. Or a couple. Or whatever. We had no label, I mean. But that would be too much for me. Because if I hadn’t before, I realized with a certainty then that I didn’t want to share him. That was a hard pass for me. Regardless of how casual we were, I wasn’t going to have him dipping his shit elsewhere and then in me. Hell no.
“I took shots from this chick’s cleavage.” He groaned it out like it was the worst thing in the world. While it didn’t make me want to go out singing his praises, I was a bit relieved. At least until I realized I might be waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“And?”
“And what?” he asked in a defeated voice. Not comforting.
“Did you and she, uh, you know.” There was no way I could say it out loud, because I might hurl.
“Did I fuck her?” he asked, and I winced painfully. My head dropped as I waited for him to answer his own question. I couldn’t even tell him that’s what I needed to know.
“No. I didn’t. I mean, I don’t even remember doing the shots. Or I didn’t until I saw the pics the guys took. Then we looked online and she had tagged me in some that her friends took. That’s what I didn’t want you to see, because I didn’t want you to see them and think I did more.”
“If you don’t remember doing the shots, how do