nor was I likely to have been the last woman he’d been with. Ugh, that thought didn’t help any of my inner turmoil.
“Need and want go hand in hand. Except I don’t want someone else. I seem to be ridiculously enraptured by a certain dark-haired woman who’s insistent on leaving me with blue balls.” He was laying it on heavy, complete with a pitiful tone and a little fake sniffle. I snorted at his ridiculous behavior.
“If that’s even slightly true, it’s only because you’re one of those twisted individuals who wants what you can’t have. The unattainable simply holds more interest than it should.” It seemed like I was trying to convince myself of my supposed intelligent insight as much as I was him.
He huffed a heavy sigh. “You’re full of shit, but I’m going to let you think you’ve won because I haven’t even packed a single thing for our road trip. I’d give up every ounce of sleep if you said you changed your mind, though.”
“That’s not going to happen. But good luck with your games.” Feigning disinterest, I clutched my phone tightly as if it would keep him on the line. My pacing stopped, and I stared out my window into the dark night sky.
“Can I call you while I’m gone?” His pleading tone sent a pang of longing through me. Why, oh why did he have to affect me that way?
In my head I screamed. Yes! Yes! Call me every damn night!
Then the logical side of me took over. I hated that side. Grrr.
Exasperated, I slumped my shoulders and dropped my head. “What part of it being a bad idea wasn’t clear?”
“You’re saying we can’t be friends, either?” he prodded.
“Friends with benefits, you mean. Jesus, you’re relentless,” I grumbled. He chuckled, and I wanted to throw my phone because of the frustration he aroused in me. Aroused was a really good word for what he did to me. Especially considering I knew it couldn’t go anywhere.
“In case you were wondering, there’s no actual policy on fraternization.” He dropped that tidbit, and I had to wonder what possessed him to look that up.
“No actual policy….” I trailed off.
“I mean, it’s frowned upon, but not forbidden.”
“Translation: While they won’t fire you for that, if you’re caught fraternizing, they’ll find something to shitcan you for,” I drawled. My tone was dry, and he sighed.
“I guess I don’t know,” he finally admitted. The disappointment in his voice actually made me feel bad for him. It was like he was a little boy who’d been told he couldn’t have dessert.
“On that note, travel safe and have a good trip with successful games. Goodnight, Alex.” My firm response was met with silence. It should’ve made me feel better that I’d effectively shut him down, but it didn’t.
“Goodnight, Sydney” was his forlorn reply. The phone went dead, and I began kicking myself. The little devil on my shoulder questioned why I couldn’t have gone to his place and had a repeat performance of the best sex of our life. She went on to insist no one needed to know.
Remembering that night, even the little angel on my other shoulder was tempted.
I tossed and turned for hours after hanging up. Thankfully, Fridays weren’t overly busy. Alex was going to be the death of me if he didn’t let this drop.
“Wicked Garden”—Stone Temple Pilots
A slap shot that sent the puck right between the goalie’s legs as he tried to drop to the ice won us Saturday’s game. With it happening twenty seconds before the buzzer, all we had to do was play an elaborate game of keep-away for the remaining seconds of the game.
Once the final buzzer sounded, we celebrated and ignored the chirping of the opposing fans.
Grins on all of our faces, we listened to the brief pep talk from Coach before we hit the showers.
“Kosinski!” Beck called out from across the shower bay.
“What?” I yelled back before dipping my head under the water.
“Wanna hit the hotel bar when we get back?” he asked.
“Sure,” I said as I went back to get dressed. I didn’t want to admit that for some reason, I wasn’t feeling up to it.
The trip to the hotel was boisterous as everyone rode the high of our win. Twice, I checked my phone to see if maybe Sydney had messaged me. Not that I expected her to, but I was curious as to whether she’d watched the game.
“Hey, I need to make a quick phone call,” I said once we