To Nick Caamano. Because when I met you as your fan and told you I was writing a hockey book, you made me feel like I was the STAR (pun absolutely intended).
Amur Leopard (Ah-mer): An endangered big cat of the world. Inhabits the far eastern portion of Russia and possibly a very small portion of China. Wild numbers are less than ninety due to habitat losses, poaching, wildfires, and other causes.
Hooking: When a player impedes the progress of an opponent by “hooking” him with his stick.
I’m Alex Kosinski, left wing for the Austin Amurs. Hooking is my penalty. It’s never something I set out to do, but it happens. After all, it’s hockey.
Hockey is life. Getting traded was a kick to the nuts, but at least I was still playing. It was all that mattered.
Until Sydney.
Our relationship was forbidden, but I didn’t care—I hadn’t run from a fight yet.
I had her right where I wanted her—until everything crashed around me. My past came back to bite me in the ass, and I was faced with getting kicked off the team. Now, I’m trying to pick up the goddamn pieces.
I’m not going to choose between her or hockey. I want it all. Because despite everything, she’s the best thing I’ve ever hooked.
“Judas”—Fozzy
It was both strange and good to be in Texas. Home for me had initially been Northern Minnesota but ended up being all over the place thanks to hockey, including Canada for the last three years. Being traded midseason to the Austin Amurs was a hard pill to swallow at first, but in the end, maybe it was perfect for me, because it put me in my big brother’s backyard.
I’d only been back from getting my house on the market and packing my shit in Montreal for about a week. Dad thought this was a great move for me. I was beginning to think he might be right. At least I hoped he was.
“You looked really good this season, Alex. Despite how things ended, I’m proud of you, son. When was it you said you were coming up to the cabin?” Though I was a grown man, my dad’s words made my chest puff out. All I’d wanted, my whole life, was to live up to his accomplishments and then be known for my own.
“Thanks, Dad. I’ll be up there in a few weeks. You doing okay?” My dad and I were pretty tight. Then again, I was living his dream. He’d made it four years in the NHL before he’d had too many concussions and they wouldn’t clear him to play anymore.
“Yeah, things are good. The kids are really shaping up. I think next year is going to be their year,” Dad said over the line. Once I’d gone pro, Dad had decided to coach a junior hockey league team. They’d been after him for years—since I was playing junior league.
“That’s great, Dad. Well, I’m gonna let you go. I still have a few more things to unpack.”
“All right, son. Tell your brother I said hello,” he added hesitantly. There was some friction between the two of them. Mostly because Cooper believed Dad favored me, since I’d continued on in hockey when he’d abandoned it for racing. I didn’t believe it for a minute, but their relationship had been strained to say the least.
“Will do, Dad.”
We hung up, and I found myself staring at some of the signed images I’d just finished hanging on the walls. A few were my old teammates, and it sent a pang of something akin to homesickness rippling through me.
They say the player is usually one of the first to know they’re getting traded. Not always true. Mine hit me like a motherfucking freight train on a dark night.
After a particularly close game, I’d gotten into the locker room, showered, and changed as we all were planning on celebrating our win with a brief trip to the hotel bar. That’s when I saw I had a voicemail from my agent. That was never good.
Sure, there had been trade talks, but I was hopeful it wouldn’t be me. Unfortunately, I wasn’t so lucky, or the good Lord wasn’t listening to my pleas.
To top it off? I’d joined the Amurs in the middle of a four-game, six-day road trip. Let me clarify. One night I was playing with my boys, the next night I was suited up and playing against them. Talk about a kick in the nuts.
The friendships I’d made weren’t easy to walk away from.