"I knew you were stupid, though."
"Go home, man, you've given me half the day, I can't afford any more."
"Hot water'll be ready in an hour or two."
"You did the electrical too?"
"I'm a full-service heating and plumbing and air-conditioning guy."
"That's why you're such a babe magnet."
"Naw. It's my pipe wrench."
"Take your tiny little pipe wrench and go," said Don.
A few more dumb jokes and Carville was on his way. It was a friendship that began in high school, and that was the level it was still at. Which was OK. That was all he needed from the guy.
The shower was all he'd hoped it would be. The new shower head didn't pulsate or anything like that, but it delivered a stream of water so intense it tingled and that was fine with Don. It was nice to shower in a tub he'd cleaned himself, instead of those truck-stop showers, which always felt kind of clammy and slimy and fungusy.
And then to pull back the shower curtain and dry off on his own clean new towel and put on a new bathrobe and slippers - it was downright domestic. From now on living here wouldn't feel like camping anymore.
Down in the parlor, he was just finishing buttoning his shirt when he heard Sylvie's voice from the hall. "Knock knock?" she asked.
"I'm decent," he said.
She came in. He sat down on the cot and started putting on socks. "Clean clothes," he said. "You ought to try it sometime."
"The dress isn't as dirty as it looks," she said. "After a while, the old grime builds up so thick the new grime just brushes right off. Sort of Teflon clothes."
"Bet we can market that and make a killing."
She smiled wanly.
"I left the soap and shampoo in the shower. Be careful cause it gets really hot now."
"I can hardly wait," she said. "You clean up nice."
He didn't know what to say. "Thanks." And then he had to change the subject. "Now that I'm cleaned up, I'm going over to call on those old ladies next door."
"I thought you said they were crazy."
"Yeah, but they really cook. Want to come, see if we can wangle two snacks for the price of none?"
She shook her head. "I'll stay here."
"They told me I could ask them if I had any questions about the house. They used to live here. Before you"
"What question are you going to ask them?" asked Sylvie.
"There's a gap in the foundation behind the old coal furnace. Might have been a root cellar or something."
"It's nothing."
"People don't leave a gap in their foundation for nothing, Sylvie." His shoes now tied, he got up and headed for the door. "I'm locking up behind me," he said. "You've got your key?"
She took it out of the wilted little pocket in her sad blue dress and held it up for him to see. "Thanks," she said.
He stepped out and closed and locked the door.
Sylvie listened to the dead-bolt close. She didn't need the key. She knew the house would open for her whenever she asked. But it still mattered to her. The key meant that he was admitting she belonged there.
But just because she felt better about things didn't mean the house did. She had tried and tried to calm it all afternoon, but the removal of that wall had been traumatic. "It's cosmetic surgery," she explained. "That wall was a goiter. It hurts to have it removed, but you're glad it's gone. The room is beautifully proportioned now, and the windows are in just the right places on the wall."
She heard a sliding sound and turned to see Don's wrecking bar creeping toward the hall. "Stop it," she said. "He'll just find it anyway, and he'll think I moved it."
The wrecking bar stopped.
"I've got to look into this shower thing," she said. "I vaguely remember that cleanliness was next to godliness. But will it ruin the bounce in my hair?" She walked out of the room, up the stairs.
As soon as she left, the wrecking bar slid on out of the room and down the hall. And the workbench moved even closer to the cot, butting right up against it, sliding it an inch or so out of position. Then all was still in the parlor once again.
Chapter 12 Garlic
The Weird sisters acted as if Don's coming over that afternoon were a visit from royalty. Well, to a point - presumably they wouldn't have had Prince Charles sit down in the kitchen with a cup of tea