get that. The dogs messed up your boots.”
She said nothing as he hunkered down, swiped the mud off the tops of her boots. It gave him a moment to gather himself.
“So you’re here for Christmas?”
“Yes. All of us. A horde of Sullivans.”
She stepped in when he opened the door.
Their tree stood in the front window, presents piled beneath, a star on top. The air smelled of pine and woodsmoke, of dogs and cookies.
“Why don’t you sit down? I’ll find the rest of us.”
The dogs went with him, as if attached by invisible leashes. And she had a moment to breathe out.
No panic, and that was good, she thought. Nerves, a lot of nerves, but the dogs had helped distract her from them.
And Dillon. He’d looked so different. So tall now, and not so bony. She supposed he looked like a rancher—the young, sexy type—in his scarred boots and cowboy hat. So kind still, she thought, rubbing her bracelet. The way he’d bent down and wiped off her boots had made her eyes sting.
Just kindness.
She stood when Julia ran down the stairs. Hair in a messy ponytail, a plaid shirt over work jeans.
“Caitlyn!”
Open arms to take her in, to hold on.
“This is the best surprise.” Julia pulled her back, studying, smiling. “You grew up and got gorgeous. Dillon’s getting his gram. She’s going to be thrilled.”
“It’s so good to see you. I never really—I just wanted to come by and see you.” Cate held out the lilies.
“Thank you. They’re spectacular. Why don’t you come back in the kitchen, sit with me while I put them in water? I was hoping you’d come by when you wrote your family would be here for Christmas.”
“It looks the same,” Cate murmured.
“Yeah. I think about a kitchen remodel, but never get beyond the thinking.”
“It’s wonderful.” One of her safe places when the panic struck. “I almost didn’t come.”
Julia got two vases—the girl must have bought every red lily in Big Sur. “Why is that?”
“I could bring myself back here, in my head—something my therapist helped me with—when I had nightmares and couldn’t sleep again. If I came here in my head, I felt safe. I didn’t know if I’d feel that if I came, or be able to feel that in my head if I didn’t.”
Julia turned back, waited.
“It’s the same. I feel safe. It’s the same,” she repeated, “a remodel wouldn’t change how it feels, or what it is.”
“Don’t rush me, boy.” Maggie brushed Dillon back as she reached the bottom of the back stairs.
Once again Cate got to her feet. “Gram.”
“Well, bring it in.”
Steady now, really steady now, Cate walked into the hug. “I like your braids.”
“’Tis the season. Dillon, get the girl a Coke and some cookies. I hope some of those flowers are for me.”
“Do you see two vases here, Mom?”
“Just checking. You sit down now and tell me all about your love life.”
Cate gave Gram a sorrowful look, made a zero with one hand.
“That’s a sad state of affairs. I can see I need to give you some pointers.”
She stayed an hour, enjoyed every minute. When Dillon walked her out, she paused again, to look at the fields, the cattle and horses, the sea.
“You’re really lucky.”
“I know.”
“It’s good you know. I have to get back, and you must have so much to do.”
“I was just going to ride some fence. Do you ride?”
“I love to ride. I haven’t done any since I came back to L.A., but when I lived in Ireland, we had neighbors with horses, so I rode whenever I could.”
“I can saddle one up for you whenever you want.”
“I’d like that. I’d like to ride again. I’ll try to get back and take you up on it. I’m glad I saw this, all this, in the sunlight. Merry Christmas, Dillon.”
“Merry Christmas.”
He watched her drive away before he walked toward the stable to get a saddle.
He thought how funny it was that he couldn’t picture Imogene on the ranch, but how easy it was to see Cate there. A movie star.
It was just weird to think about it, so he put it aside and picked out his tack.
Rather than feeding her anxiety, Cate found her visit to Horizon Ranch energized her. Timing, she thought yet again. Time to push forward with that energy.
Some of the older cousins waged a flag football war on the front lawn. It looked vicious, so she just waved off the shouts for her to join in.
She had her own battle to fight.
And when