admit, they carried more intensity because she’d come back to where they’d started.
When she woke up, shuddering, breathless, for the third night running, she got up, went down to make herself tea.
The falling dream again, she thought. A popular favorite in her nightmare repertoire. Her hands, a child’s hands, sliding, sliding helplessly on the rope of sheets. And all the fiercely tied knots breaking away.
Falling, falling, without even the breath to scream, with the second-story window changing into a cliff, the ground turned into the thrashing sea.
They’d pass, she told herself, standing with the tea, looking out at the sea. They always did.
But at three in the morning, they exhausted.
No pills, she thought, though February often tempted her. But no pills. Her mother had used them, and often as an excuse.
I’m too tired, Caitlyn. I took a pill to help me sleep. Go tell Nina to take you shopping. I need a nap.
Why, she wondered, did a child crave the attention and affection of the very person who routinely withheld both? Like cats who wanted the lap of someone averse to them.
That craving had certainly passed.
But since she needed to sleep, as Lily left the next day for New York—which meant she had to at least look rested for the morning goodbyes—she’d take her tea upstairs. She’d find a movie again, and hope she could drift off.
Since drifting off came in fits and starts, the wonder of makeup and a skilled hand did the trick.
“You two keep an eye on each other. I’ll know if you don’t.” Lily gave Cate and Hugh a wagging finger warning. “I have my spies.”
“I’m taking him to a strip club tonight.”
“See that you have plenty of singles.” Lily checked her purse, again. “Those girls work hard.”
After shutting her enormous travel purse again, Lily put her hands on Cate’s cheeks. “I’ll miss that face.” Then turned to Hugh, did the same. “And this one.”
“I expect a call when you’re settled.”
“You’ll get one. All right, here I go.” She kissed Hugh. Kissed him again before enfolding Cate in a hug and subtle clouds of J’adore.
“Knock ’em dead, Mame,” Cate murmured.
Lily touched a hand to her heart, to her lips, then slid into the limo.
With Hugh, Cate stood watching the car wind down to the gate. “Alone at last,” she said to make him laugh.
“She is a presence, isn’t she? How long is the list she gave you about keeping an eye on me?”
“It’s lengthy. How about yours for me?”
“Same. So I’ll cross an item off, ask you what you’re up to today.”
February had opted for balmy. It wouldn’t last, but for this day, this moment, the air held the teasing promise of spring. Spears of bulbs, nubs of wildflowers poked up to bask in the sun. Out at sea, a ship, white as winter, glided toward the horizon.
There were times you really should seize the day.
“I worked a couple hours, and need a couple more. Audiobook, and it’s going well. Then I think it’ll be a really good afternoon for a walk on the beach. You could help me cross two items off my list. How about sitting in on the recording, then taking some sandwiches or whatever and walking with me.”
“Oddly, that would also cross some off my list.”
He took her hand, the way he had when she’d been a little girl. And she shortened her gait for him—as he’d once done for her.
“Have you heard from your dad?”
“I did, just yesterday. It’s cold and rainy in London.”
“Aren’t we the lucky ones? Are you happy here, Catey?”
“Of course I am. Don’t I look happy?”
“You look content, which isn’t quite there. One of the items on my long list is to convince you to get out, find some people your own age. Lily suggests Dillon for that.”
“Does she?”
“He’s lived here all his life, he has friends. Work, for us, it’s essential, but it can’t be all.”
“Right now, it’s enough for me.” At the cottage, she opened the door. “I’m enjoying the quiet, the same way I enjoyed the fast pace in New York.”
“Has it been quiet?”
“Grandpa, I promised I’d tell you if I get another call, and I will. Nothing since before Christmas. Now, do you want some tea to take in?”
“Is Lily far enough away for you to let me have one of your Cokes?”
“Barely.” But she went to the kitchen, got one for him. “Our secret. I’m using the booth, so you can be comfortable in the main studio, and won’t have to worry