to bring him any sense of calm.
What was it about women that had such an effect on us?
A soft knock on my door pulled me out of my thoughts. Dread filled me at the sound. I had exceeded my limit of socializing. It didn’t matter if it was Jandro or someone else familiar, I was done for the night.
The knock came again and I bit back the growl of frustration. Maybe if I pretended to be asleep, they’d get the hint.
“Sir?” a feminine voice called through the wood. “I’m here on the governor’s orders.”
I was puzzled enough to stand and crack the door open. The woman on the other side had a face caked in makeup, her dress like a second skin as it hugged all her curves. She smiled coyly at me and I remembered.
Fuck.
The governor had sent a gift. And here she was.
“Um, hi.”
“Hi,” she giggled, tossing a lock of red hair over her shoulder. The color looked fake, like Reaper’s sister’s hair. “You gonna stare all night or let me in?”
I stepped back from the door and she pushed her way in, closing it with a swing of her hips. Damn it, she was in my space now. A stranger in my room when all I wanted was to be left alone.
My mind raced, wondering how I should get her out, but my body was much slower to move. She walked straight up to me, confident and unafraid as she pressed her chest to mine. That was different. Did I suddenly become approachable? Or was she handpicked by the governor for her boldness?
“What’s your name, big guy?” Her hands went to the buttons at the bottom of my untucked shirt, long red nails swiftly finishing the work I’d started.
“Uh, you don’t have to do that.” I backed away, holding the sides of my shirt closed. I had an undershirt on, so she didn’t see the full extent of my scarring yet. As much as I didn’t want to sleep with her, I also didn’t want to deal with the fear and disgust I’d seen so many times before.
“That’s a funny name.” She snickered at her own joke, hands coming to her hips. “Well, if you’d rather keep it on or do the honors yourself, it’s all good with me, cowboy. I’m Morgan, by the way.”
With that, she hiked up her dress and pulled it over her head, now completely naked except for her heels. Like most service girls, she didn’t bother with lingerie.
“How do you like it, big guy?” Morgan’s voice took on a husky whisper as she stalked toward me. “I could climb you like a tree. You can fuck me against the wall, show me how strong you are.”
“Um…” I kept stepping away until it was my back that touched the wall.
“Aw, you nervous?” She reached out and trailed her fingertips from my chest to my waistband. “You seem a little shy. You can lie back and just let me take over. I’m cool with that, too.”
She stepped one leg between mine, and just started to rub her thigh against my crotch when I stepped to the side.
“Um, no. No, thank you.”
Fuck, why did she have to press against me and get so close? Her presence in the room felt so invasive and I just wanted some fucking space.
“All right,” she scoffed, annoyance now lacing her voice. “Tell me what you like, so I have something to work with here.”
God fucking damn it. There was no getting rid of her, was there? And how bad would it look if I refused a gift from the governor? I’d have to get this over with, just like I always did.
“You can just, um,” I swallowed, “get on the bed. On your hands and knees is fine.”
Morgan grinned, heading for the bed like I requested. “See, now was that so hard?”
She assumed the position and waited. I went around behind her slowly, dread sinking into my limbs. My feet felt like lead dragging across the floor. I didn’t want to do this, not with her. Not like this.
Glancing up, I realized she faced the mirror—the perfect position to watch ourselves. That made me want it even less.
“Uh, can you face the headboard, please?”
“You’re a picky fucking bastard,” she huffed, but turned in the direction I asked.
Now I could just stare at the wall like I always did, and not the shame in my own face. I pulled my zipper down slowly, with reluctance. This might be over with