other way around.”
She’s ready to leave, but I’m standing here with my empty cup, feeling unsettled, because she’s right. I always wanted what she had with Dylan. But now that I have it, I understand her a little better. She lost him, and then she was sorry.
I’ll be sorry someday, too. “How do you stop?” I hear myself ask.
“Stop what?”
“Being the person who’s got it bad.”
She nudges me aside, but her expression is more gentle than I’ve ever seen it. “If you figure it out, let me know.”
After she leaves, I text Dylan. You won’t believe this! Guess who found herself a hockey player? She’s out for the night. And she took her toothbrush with her.
I’m truly happy for her. I wonder if she knows that.
Dylan interprets this news a different way. Goody. I’ll swing by later after my study group for bio. Unless you’re too busy? I’ll buzz from the lobby to make sure you’re done studying.
As if I’d ever turn down a visit from Dylan. And the prospect of seeing him lights a fire under my ass. I’ve almost finished my essay when the house phone rings.
I leap off the bed to answer it. “Hey there!”
“Hi yourself,” Leah says back to me. “You sound really happy to hear from me.”
Oh shit. A beat goes by while I try to reorient myself. “Of course I’m happy to hear from you.”
Leah laughs. “Uh-huh. Who were you really expecting? What’s his name, Chass?”
“Leah,” I gasp.
“What? It’s so obvious that you met a boy. Why else would you be gone every night? Just promise me he’s a nice boy, and he knows his way around a condom.”
Immediately, I feel sweaty. “You’re embarrassing me,” I say, because it’s the truth, even if it’s not all of the truth.
“Look, I get that this isn’t an easy topic for you. The Paradise Ranch is where sexual positivity goes to die. It took me years to get over my hang-ups. But I hope you know you can ask me about anything.”
“Uh, sure,” I say slowly. “I think I’m good.” But I’m probably going to burn in hell for lying to you.
“Chass, seriously. I hope you do meet someone nice. Maybe it will help you get over your raging crush on Dylan.”
Oh my God. “That will never happen,” I admit slowly. It’s another half-truth. “You should talk, though. You fell for Isaac when you were what, fifteen?”
“You’re right,” she says quietly. “But I was very lucky that he was all in—he didn’t make me pine for him. Some men are ready to meet their forever person when they’re young. And some just aren’t. You could be waiting around a long time for Dylan to grow up.”
Once again, she’s both wrong and very, very right. I have Dylan. And yet I really don’t.
“Hey, I didn’t call to make you feel bad.”
“You aren’t,” I say quickly. “Now tell me what’s up with you?”
“You know I did that interview for Wyoming Public Radio?”
“Uh-huh,” I say, even if I don’t exactly remember. Anytime Leah brings up Wyoming, I tune it out.
“Well, something amazing happened. I got the attention of a very well-off rancher who wants to help me fund my foundation. I think this could be big. She could move my plans forward in a big way.”
“That’s wild!” But I shouldn’t really be surprised. Nobody is more tenacious than Leah when she has a big idea. I’ve never seen anyone accomplish so much with so little. She was a runaway at seventeen, and has no education. But she never stops believing that big things are possible. This past summer her cheeses won an international competition. In France.
“I’m flying to Chicago this weekend to meet the rancher.”
“Chicago?”
“She’s there for a convention. You won’t believe this hotel where I’m supposed to have lunch. I’m busy having a fashion crisis right now.”
“I’ll bet.”
“Dream big, Chastity. Sometimes you get what you’ve asked for.”
“Mmm.” Does it make me shallow that I’m mostly dreaming of Dylan?
“The other thing I have to ask you is this—could I possibly buy five boxes of caramels?” Leah asks me. “I don’t want to screw up your count.”
“Sure. You can have them,” I tell her. As if I’d say no. My entire business relies on free time in her kitchen. “Are they for the fancy rancher lady?”
“One of them is. I hope you don’t mind if I also send a box to your mother.”
My heart skips a beat. “Why?” I haven’t seen or spoken to my mother in two years. She failed