grumpy sigh. “She totally played me. How did I let this happen?”
“Oh, easy,” Rickie says, blowing on his tea. “But you won’t like hearing it.”
Rickie is—shocker—majoring in psychology. And not just for fun. It’s his true calling. I don’t always enjoy his analyses of me. But they are rarely wrong.
“Okay, I’ll bite. How did I walk into this mess?”
“You and Kaitlyn both need to be the one who’s less in love. For you, it’s just a convenience. You don’t enjoy clingy feelings. But Kaitlyn needs the adoration. The imbalance feeds her. She got tired of being with someone who’s unavailable.”
“What are you talking about? I spent tons of time with her. Every weeknight.”
“But you don’t need her, and she knows it.”
“What does that even mean?”
“Be honest—what was the best thing about Kaitlyn.”
I close my eyes and picture her devilish smile. “She was fun. She had a lot of energy. She liked to party.”
“On your cock.” He smiles.
“Well, sure.” Kaitlyn made no secret of her enthusiasm for sex. “But what’s your point? I was good to her. And she treated me like shit.”
Rickie just shakes his head. “You were good to her, because that’s your default setting. But you didn’t love her.”
“I’m twenty years old. Not exactly eager to pick out wedding invitations.”
“No kidding. But yet you can’t admit to yourself that she’s not your type—aside from the sexual compatibility. Which, given the loud rejoicing that frequently came from your bedroom, must have been on point.” He leans back in his chair, like a grand duke in the palace.
“So? I shouldn’t feel badly?”
“Nah.” He grins. “The girl did you a favor. She freed you up to pursue the girl who really is your type.”
“Sorry?” I don’t think I had enough coffee today to follow this conversation.
“Chastity.”
“What about her?”
“You have a thing for Chastity.”
“Oh fuck off.”
He makes a clicking sound with his tongue, the way you’d scold a golden retriever. “You’re not usually so dense.”
“I’m not dense.”
“I know. It’s one of the things I like most about you.”
“Do we have any chips?” I ask suddenly. If I have to listen to all Rickie’s theories about me, I might as well not starve.
“I haven’t been to the store.”
Shocker. I reach down and unzip the front of my backpack, pulling out half a dozen apples I grabbed out of a bushel basket on my way out today.
“Ooh, tasty. What are these?”
“Esopus Spitzenburg.”
“Gesundheit.” He laughs and grabs an apple. “You are attracted to Chastity, and it drove Kaitlyn bonkers.”
“Chastity is a lovely girl,” I point out. “But it doesn’t give Kaitlyn a free pass to act like a nutter. Chastity and I are just friends.”
He rolls his eyes. “We have two young women, both attractive to you. One of them you don’t feel much for, but you’ll bang her into next Tuesday. The other one you care for a great deal, but won’t touch. One wonders why you’re so unhappy.”
“I wasn’t unhappy!” I practically shout. “Everything was fine until Kaitlyn fucked it up.”
“Tell me Chastity doesn’t get you hot.”
“She…” I struggle to figure out how to put it. “She isn’t the kind of girl you can bang into next Tuesday. It doesn’t matter if sometimes that seems like a fun idea.”
He laughs. “Why not?”
“She’s…” It isn’t easy to explain. “Innocent. She grew up in this cult…”
“In Wyoming. I know. Old men porking teenage wives. But that doesn’t make somebody innocent. That makes them unlucky.”
“But she needs time to adjust,” I point out. “There are so many things she doesn’t know. And she’s a good friend, so I wouldn’t ever go there.” I know I’m not making a whole lot of sense. But she’s Chastity. I feel evil every time I notice her curves, or have the urge to taste her smile. That’s not how friends are supposed to think about each other.
Rickie shakes his head, like I’m an amusing child. “Eventually, Chastity will learn all the things you don’t want to teach her. She’ll be hanging out in the basement of the multicultural house, and some lacrosse player will sidle up to her. ‘Hey, honey. Love the low-cut top and the innocent smile. Let’s dance. In my bed.”
Well that’s a horrible image. I might actually choke Rickie if this conversation continues. I grab a second apple, lift my backpack and walk out of the room.
Eleven
Chastity
I avoid Kaitlyn after I get home on Sunday night. Not like it’s hard. She spends her time locked in her room, listening to angry-sounding music.
But the next evening she disappears