confessed. “I just wanted to look pretty.”
I could see it clearly. I was waiting by the door for him to come home in my brand new, pink miniskirt and the bright, flowery t-shirt I’d been obsessed with as soon as I’d seen it. He’d stopped short in the doorway as soon as he’d seen me.
Hi, Daddy.
What the fuck are you wearing?
Wh-what?
Take that shit off! What are you? Some kind of sick pervert?
“He wasn’t so nice to me after that.”
“Why do I feel like that is the understatement of the year?”
“He said I couldn’t be trusted with money, or dressing myself, or… really anything.”
He pulled back and cupped my cheeks. “I need you to listen to me, Miller.”
I blinked up at him. “Okay.”
“Are you listening to me?”
Nodding, I grasped Sprinkles tighter to my chest. “Yes.”
“It doesn’t matter what you said or did. What happened would have happened regardless.”
“But—”
“Because it was never about you,” he said quietly, not giving me time to argue. “You could have been perfect, and I imagined you were.” His smile was teasing as I blushed. “You could have done everything right, and he still would have found something wrong because he was the one who was broken. Do you understand?”
I shrugged.
“Okay, say you’re at the store, and you see a little girl crying by herself. What would you do?”
I shrugged again. “I’d ask her what was wrong. Try to help her find her parents?”
Carson nodded. “That’s right because that is who you are. What would he have done?”
I didn’t even have to think about it. “Laughed.”
“And that’s who he is. He was always mean. He just got good at hiding it and blaming it on others.” He grimaced. “Sounds like a rotten S.O.B. to me.”
The laugh that escaped my mouth surprised me. No one had ever said anything bad like that about Neil. One laugh led to another until I was laughing and crying against his shoulder.
It took a few minutes for me to sober up. With my head on his shoulder, I turned everything he’d said over in my head. For the first time, the little ball of guilt and self-loathing I carried around with me started to crack. “It wasn’t my fault?” I whispered against him, needing to hear his reassurances just one more time.
“No, baby.” His hand was gentle as he touched me. “Never.”
I took his words to heart. For the first time in a long time, I felt light, as I had as a young, carefree teenager first exploring the world. I felt a warm bubbling in my chest as happiness filled my body. I felt free. I had no idea how long the feeling would last, so I tried to savor them.
Unable to express how I felt in words, I stayed in his arms, soaking up his special kind of warmth. It felt like hours but was probably closer to twenty minutes when I started getting antsy. I wiggled in his lap, self-conscious of our position for the first time. I could even feel a little something-something against my thigh where it pressed against his crotch.
“Carson?” I asked, plucking at his shirt.
“What is it, darling?”
Had I mentioned how much I loved the way he called me darling? It was soft, and the way he dropped the ‘g’ gave it that southern twang that melted my heart.
“Is uhh… I was wondering…”
“Yes?” he asked, poking my side as I struggled to speak.
I giggled, blurting out my question. “I was wondering if your offer still stands?”
I felt my heart sink into my stomach as silence echoed through the room.
“No, I—”
“Sure, I get it.” I smiled brightly to cover the hurt I felt. I tried to get out of his lap, but his arms held me prisoner. “Can you let me go, please?”
“I wasn’t finished. No, I don’t want an understanding with you,” he explained, sending more knives into my already battered soul. “I want more.”
I stopped trying to get away. I looked at him, searching his expression for a single hint of laughter. “What?”
He reached for Sprinkles who was still trapped in my arms and grabbed her ear. Lifting it, he brushed her soft fur against my cheek. “I want more than an understanding with you. I want you. Period. I have since the first moment you walked into my apartment.”
“Wait, you want… you want me?”
“Gods, yes. The second I laid eyes on you, I wanted to kick Lee to the curb and pull you into my lap.” His fingers brushed against my lips. “I