up,” she spoke gently.
“Maybe…but why? What’s the point?”
“Joey! He needs his mom. Like it or not, you signed up for the job. He comes first always. If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for him.”
It felt as though she had slapped me. She was right. I’d had my pity party long enough. Joey needed me and I needed him. We’ve all had bad shit happen to us.
“You’re right, but I still feel so sad. I received my test results yesterday and at least I am clean. I didn’t really realize what kind of burden I’d been carrying until it lifted when I received the letter.” I paused and then added, “I don’t understand how I could be clean when I feel so dirty.”
Phoebe looked down at me and sighed. “Beth, you aren’t dirty sweetie. I’ll tell you what. You can be sad for the rest of the day and I will be here to stroke your hair, but tomorrow you have to promise to try to be at least twenty percent happier. Deal?”
“Deal.” I forced a little smile.
“I took off today just for you, my friend. What do you want to do?”
“Watch La Femme Nikita and order Chinese food?” I asked, knowing Phoebe would rather slam her hand in her car door.
“Fine.” She huffed and I smiled.
“Five percent right here.” I pointed to my face, smiling like a child.
“Okay, let me get this straight. She was committed for a crime she did not commit and now this government agency wants her to join their secret undercover spy thing?” Phoebe asked while eating her egg roll. She was totally captivated by the show.
I grinned. “Yup.”
“So she has no fucking choice?”
“Nope.”
In the show, Nikita jumped Michael from behind and he turned and slammed her to the floor, telling her she should have gone for the kidneys. He continued to threaten her and told her she could go in the grave that they made for her.
“Holy fuck! Did he just threaten to kill her?” Phoebe asked with cabbage in her teeth.
“Yup.” I stared at Phoebe, hoping and wanting her to like the show as much as me—plus that cabbage was killing me. Maybe I should tell her.
“But I don’t get the row eight plot thirty bit.”
“That was where they put her fake grave and had her fake funeral. He was letting her know they would just bury her body there.”
“He’s a fucker!”
“Yup.”
“Do they end up together?” Phoebe looked at the screen and I smiled. She was hooked.
“Guess you’ll have to watch to see.”
After five hours of La Femme Nikita, Phoebe got off the couch. “Son of a bitch!”
“What?” I asked.
“I ain’t got time for this shit! Give me the rest of the first season.” Phoebe demanded.
I giggled and ran to the bookcase in my bedroom so I could grab the first season of the show. When I returned, Phoebe was in the kitchen, throwing away our Coke cans.
“Hey, Beth, what’s this?”
Phoebe brought out the boxes I had piled on my kitchen counter.
“I think they’re from Roman.”
“What do you mean ‘think’? Open them.”
I stared. “Phoebe, what does it matter? We can’t be together.”
“Open them.”
I checked the dates on the packages and opened them chronologically. The first one I opened held twenty boxes of Kraft Dinner. I pulled out the note. It read: We like Kraft dinner, don’t we?
The second box held a print of the painting “Girl Before a Mirror” by Pablo Picasso. The note read: I researched his work…this was my favorite. They are really abstract. Who knew?
The third box contained a beautiful green dress, and the note read: Don’t worry; it’s not a real green dress.
“I don’t get it,” Phoebe said. “They seem like nice gifts, but they are so random.”
“They aren’t random. They’re in reference to a song,” I said.
Phoebe laughed. “Don’t tell me you finally found someone who loves your musical charisma.”
“Charisma? That’s your word choice?”
Phoebe looked as though she’d thought long and hard. “I think it is.”
I laughed.
“Do you love him?” she asked.
“More than I have loved any man.” I paused. “I miss him so much. You know I recorded a Phantom Unplugged special on Palladia. It was from two years ago, but I sat there and watched it over and over. I miss him so much, and when I watch him singing his music in an acoustic manner, I feel like he is right there with me.”
“Why let him go?”
“He would get bored and leave me.”
Phoebe looked around the room at the presents. “Sweetie, I think