had finally realized the true depth of my feelings.
“I know and these fucking tears…have you ever known me to cry?”
“Not since your mom died.”
“You know, she has this adorable little boy. He’s ten. He was at the meet and greet.” I gave a small smile.
“I met him,” Berg spoke.
Weirdly, I was a little jealous of that. “You met him?”
“Yeah, after they took you and Beth, he went ballistic. Beth’s pretty friend was trying to calm him, but she was crying uncontrollably too. They were hugging each other and crying. After I called 911, I went over to her to see if I could help. He kind of looked like a handful. Anyway, she said she needed to call his dad. I tried to calm him while she was on the phone. I started talking about the concert to get his mind off of it. He said he wouldn’t want to see the concert if Roman Reed wasn’t singing. Then he said the cutest thing. He said, ‘When Mama gets upset, she plays Phantom’s music because Roman Reed’s voice makes her happy.’” Berg smiled with a hint of pride in his voice for me.
“What did you say to him?”
“I told him that you were probably singing to his mama right at this moment to make her feel better.”
“Shit…no, I was too busy being a dick to her.” I shook my head. “I can’t live without her.”
“So don’t.”
“I don’t have a fucking choice. She dumped me.”
“When have you ever been dumped? Seriously, dude! Just change her mind! You’re Roman Reed!”
“Yeah…wish I felt that confident,” I spoke as I played with drink straws.
“Look, Roman, put yourself in Beth’s shoes. What if you were the one Jason took upstairs for six days? Then Beth saves you but walks in on him raping you. How would that make you feel?”
I thought about that for a minute. “Embarrassed, ashamed, confused, depressed, oh fuck…I would be all over the place.” I shook my head, trying to imagine what that would do to me.
“Bingo. That’s probably the way Beth feels, don’t you think? You said she suffers from depression and she was off her meds. That’s a double whammy. I’m surprised she didn’t try to kill herself again.”
Fuck…Berg was spot on. It was funny that Eve and Berg could see so clearly what I couldn’t. “Damn, you and Eve sound just alike.”
“Well then, she must be fucking brilliant too.” Berg had a huge grin on his face. A minute or two passed and Berg became serious. “Take Eve’s advice. Fight for her. Show her you think she is worth fighting for. Be her fucking white knight, you know, man? We have four more shows. In seven days, you can be on her front door.”
“But what can I do until then?”
“Have you ever heard of flowers?” He asked me.
“No, Eve said I have to remind her why we fell in love.” I had a fleeting thought.
“So what are you going to do?”
“I have an idea—you got a million dollars?”
Chapter 6 – Beth
I woke up and laid in bed for hours. Thinking... The thing about depression was that something could be good and when the depression set in…Bam, I started to look at the negative side about that something.
By noon I got up and poured myself a glass of wine. Why not? As I sat on the couch, I started thinking. Then I decided I didn’t want to think, and I turned on the TV. Nothing there, so I went to my DVD collections and browsed. I decided I wanted to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer—it was always a classic. I pulled out the sixth season and let my eyes roam over the titles. I spotted the one I wanted to see: “Once More, with Feeling.” It was the musical episode. Yep, I loved my musical TV shows. I watched, I sang, and I cried. Poor Buffy being pulled out of heaven.
I needed more wine. After my fourth glass, I reflected on my phone conversation with my ex-husband yesterday.
Wow, that sounds weird.
Joey’s autism was the perfect example of how my depression unfolded. Eric told me Joey started growling and pushing the kids at school again. We cured him of that with taking away his PlayStation, but now he was pushing and growling again. Kids didn’t like that shit. Some kids with autism only liked to be around people who followed the rules. My kid was like that. When other kids broke the rules, it pissed off Joey so he growled