it would be easier if you were. And that these kind of innocent comments will become a thing because no one knows about us or that you’re maybe interested in someone who isn’t a woman. That’s the default, and it just hit me, is all. I hate that to most people, I’d never even be an option as someone who is good for you.”
Knox reached out and cupped my face. “First, there’s no maybe about it. I’m interested in you. I want you. Hell, all week I’ve been driving myself crazy thinking about you going out with Josh and how much easier it would be for you not to want me. You could find someone you didn’t have to hide with, who didn’t have kids and who wasn’t coming to terms with their sexuality, so I get it. And while I want you to have fun and know you deserve a night out, I wanted to ask you not to be with someone else, but I didn’t know if I had the right.”
“You have the right,” I rushed out. “It killed me thinking about you with Amanda or anyone else. You have the right, if you want it.” My ex cheating on me had hurt. I wouldn’t do that to someone else.
He brushed his thumbs over my cheeks, his pinky and ring fingers teasing the skin of my neck. “Thank God.” Knox lowered his mouth to mine and pressed a gentle kiss there. His beard rubbed against me in the most delicious way. “You have the right too. I’m sorry I can’t make this easier on us yet. I’m trying, but I know it’s not fair to expect you to deal with this, so again, I’ll understand if it’s too much.”
“It’s not.” The chance to have Knox was worth anything. I circled my arms around his neck, pulled him down to me, and we kissed again. Our bodies aligned, and he dipped his tongue into my mouth as I tugged at his hair.
It was killing me not to drop to my knees for him. I wanted Knox in my mouth, wanted to hear the sounds he made and feel his hand in my hair as he thrust between my lips.
“Fuck,” he said, pressing his forehead to mine. He ran his hands up and down my back as if he had to keep touching me. “The way kissing you makes me feel.”
“And how is that?” I asked playfully, just as we heard Logan on the stairs, and we jerked away from each other. It was like someone threw cold water on me, ruining the moment.
“Dale had to eat, so—” Logan skidded into the kitchen. “Why do you guys look weird?”
Wait. We did? I rushed a hand down my shirt as if that would change something.
“We’re not weird. You are,” Knox teased Logan, and just like that, it was back to normal.
The three of us went outside. We played with Frankie Blue, and I helped Knox finish dinner, which smelled delicious.
It was a nice evening, so when dinner was ready, we ate outside. Knox talked about plans to build a screened-in porch, and I pointed out where a nice garden could go. He had so much space. “When I get a house, I really want to have my own garden. Mom and I used to garden together when I was a kid, and I love the idea of growing my own vegetables—these are great, by the way. You did good. I like the seasoning.”
“Yeah, I like it too. Guess eating healthy isn’t so bad. I wouldn’t mind putting a garden here sometime. You’d have to help me, though. I don’t have much of a green thumb.”
“Really? I’d love to. When I lived in LA, I had a condo and no space. I’ve always wanted a garden of my own.” Then it hit me, what I’d said. This wasn’t my house. The garden would be Knox’s, and I’d be helping. “Not that this one would be mine; you know what I mean.” Ugh, I was so stupid. I wanted to have my very own garden with Knox.
“It can be all of ours.” Knox winked.
“Not mine. I don’t want it to be mine.” Logan looked at me. “No offense, Callum.”
“Oh, fine, whatever. I see how you are. Some founding member of the badass-cool-kids club you are.”
We laughed and finished eating dinner. Knox told Logan to do the dishes, and he showed me the progress on his carving.
Afterward, Logan asked if we wanted to watch