was an absurdly cautious and wary man not so deep inside him that reached out and took the reins when necessary. It was one more thing the two of them had never seen eye to eye on.
“Go ahead and say it,” Caleb told him with a sigh. “Tell me that from the sounds of it, waiting a little longer like you would have done, probably would have been the better idea.”
Sam leaned back, looking up only when the server came over and ordered them another couple of drinks. “Eh, just like you can’t tell me what’s going on in my head, I’m not going to give you shit for doing what you think is right. I mean, c’mon, we both know I’m probably too cautious for my own good at times. And it’s cost me, just like being quick on the draw bit you in the ass this time.”
Their eyes met, and for a moment, Caleb wondered if Sam was referring to their second attempt at a relationship. Caleb had never known if Sam had ever truly regretted how distant he’d been or if he’d simply walked on without a glance backward. And for the first time since he watched Sam walk away, Caleb began to ask himself that question again.
“Well, it did bite me in the ass. You’re right about that,” Caleb agreed. “Within a year, it fell apart. I still don’t know how it happened, but we were just...at each other’s throats all the time. Nothing was going right and, maybe this isn’t fair, but often, it felt like everything was my fault.”
Sam winced at that. “Not to turn this around onto a different subject, but it’s a little ironic, you talking to me about that kind of problem.”
Caleb blinked, then let out a bark of laughter. “I hadn’t thought about it like that.”
“And now you have,” Sam said with a light smile.
Caleb shook his head. “It wasn’t the same.”
“What, constantly fighting with your other half? Feeling like it was always your fault instead of a problem that should have been addressed as a couple? Not the same?”
Caleb raised a brow. “Is that the way you saw us?”
“I don’t know. It sounds the same. Especially that second part.”
“Hm. I think it’s telling that you realize we both failed to do our part in dealing with our problems. Didn’t used to be that way.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve had plenty of time to look back and think on things.”
That went a long way toward making Caleb feel better. He had spent a good long while thinking about where things had gone wrong between them and what he might have done differently if he’d known it at the time. To know he wasn’t alone in that eased some of the tension in his chest.
Caleb took a deep drink from his new glass. “Well, maybe it sounds the same, but it wasn’t. You and I...we bickered, we butt heads, but we never...we never got mean with each other, never yelled or treated the other like dirt.”
“Nick did that?” Sam asked.
Caleb sighed. “He did. But near the end, I was doing the same. I just used to get so angry, I’d lose my head and the next thing I knew, I was trading blows with him. Verbal blows, it never grew physical. Well, maybe there was a new hole or two added to the apartment a couple of times, but we never hit each other.”
Sam curled his lip, stirring his drink absentmindedly. “You don’t have to hit someone to do damage, Caleb.”
“I know. And I told myself, over and over again, that we would do better, we could be better. Told myself that right up until he slapped the divorce papers down in front of me,” Caleb said, now staring at his half-empty drink.
Sam sucked in a sharp breath. “Damn, no warning? That’s cold.”
“That’s what I told him, but he just...well, he wanted it done. I didn’t. I wanted to fix things, therapy came up, but he refused. Nothing I tried to offer up could make him happy. I even moved out so he could have space to think, still wasn’t enough. Eventually, he just got fed up with waiting for me and started, well, I’m not quite sure what he did, but suddenly everyone at work started treating me differently.”
Sam straightened at that. “What was he telling them?”
Caleb shook his head. “I have no idea. I have a few ideas from things I overheard, but I never knew for sure.”
It wasn’t as if