him in the backyard and see he’s not here, so I go straight inside to avoid talking to anybody else. I’m a frazzled ball of nerves at the moment and just want to get this over with.
As I suspected, he is in the living room alone, sitting on the couch with his elbows resting on his thighs and his head in his hands, his half drank beer bottle on the coffee table. I lean on the archway separating the space from the kitchen. “I’m sorry, Giovanni.”
He grunts but doesn’t even look at me. I’m not surprised. He’s the most stubborn man I know.
I shouldn’t feel the need to justify my relationship, but at the same time, I do. I at least owe him an explanation. “I swear I didn’t know who he was at first, and when I found out, I was worried that you’d get mad about it. He’s good to me, Gio. You have no idea the things he’s done over the past four—”
That makes him lift his head. He frowns. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing, just, he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. While things were new and we were getting to know each other, I didn’t want to throw a wrench into our relationship right off the bat with an overprotective big brother.”
I think there’s only been a time or two that I’ve been on the receiving end of Gio’s anger, and I don’t like it. Not at all. He huffs in disbelief and shakes his head. “Today was a good day. One of the best that I’ve had in a while, and sorry, Bella, but I won’t let you ruin that.” He stands and rubs his hands down his jeans. “I don’t want to talk about this now. Did you get cake yet?”
“Yes,” I lie.
He doesn’t even spare me a glance as he passes, and instead of following him, I head the opposite way so I can get out of here without saying goodbye to anybody. I’m trying my hardest to hold back the tears at his disappointment. First my mother and now him. This sucks.
By the time I make it home, or to Damien’s house, it’s only been about a half an hour since he left for his grandmother’s. I decide the best way for me to stop thinking about my family is to keep busy, so I start cooking dinner for us. All that I do with this meal takes every bit of my concentration for its perfection, and once I’m done, I slide the baking dish into the oven.
I don’t need a shower, seeing as I took one this morning, but I want one because I need a moment. The tears that I’ve held back for over an hour aren’t going to stay there much longer. I step beneath the spray, and as soon as the water hits my face, a choked sob leaves my throat.
Emotions that I’ve forced deep inside and haven’t allowed to surface rush out like a waterfall. I feel so used by Mario, so stupid that I got into his mess in the first place, but also so confused as to what I could have done differently in that situation. If I didn’t allow Mario’s debt to be transferred to me, I have no doubt in my mind that Danny would have killed him right in front of me. And if I saw that, I’m pretty sure I would be even worse off than I am right now.
Should I have told Gio from the beginning? I have no clue how he would have reacted. I’d like to think that he could have been professional about it and treated me like a client to help me figure out how to get out of the situation, but he’s got a short temper, so as much as I wish he would’ve been that way, I know better.
He would have lost his shit completely, and I couldn’t watch him get thrown in jail again.
Then there’s the fact that Damien dealt with my problem, and I let him so easily. I was selfish, even though he was the one who figured it out. I had no intention of telling him. And when he confronted me about it, I should have fought him on it more, but to have the burden of Danny Dakota off my back was the biggest relief.
Even if I protested, Damien would have cleared up my situation anyway, so it would have been pointless to try to argue