I don’t want to get her hopes up that this could all be over for her if something ends up going bad. “I’ve gotta go on a trip for work. It was a last-minute thing. I leave today.” I shouldn’t be thrilled she’s just as disappointed as I am.
“How long will you be gone?”
However long it takes me to drive to Idaho, throw Mario in the back of the van I’ll be renting, then drive back and hand him over to Danny. “Not sure yet, few days, less than a week for sure.”
“Oh, is that normal? The last-minute trip?”
“There’s nothing really normal, Iz. Every assignment is different. Some of them have a timeframe, and some don’t. It just depends.”
She shuts the burner off and takes the last of the bacon off the pan and sets it on a paper towel-lined plate. “Okay, I was just wondering.”
“Will you keep Judy while I’m gone?”
“What?” she shrieks, and the tongs slip from her fingers and clatter on the counter.
The shock surprises me, and I can’t tell if it’s good or bad. I drop my chin to my chest and watch her face as I explain. “I thought you could keep Judy while I was gone, but I can bring her in for boarding, too. I just know she’d rather be with you.” I hesitate at the uncertainty written all over her. “Only if you want. You don’t have to if it’s too much.”
My dog lifts her head and tilts it, knowing that I’m talking about her.
“Can I take her to my house?”
“Of course. You can do whatever you want. You don’t have to keep her. I just thought you might want to. It’s not a big deal if you don’t.”
“I do. I’m just kind of surprised, I guess.”
I raise a brow. “Why the hell would that surprise you?”
“I don’t know.” She laughs nervously and crosses her arms.
This isn’t a conversation I thought to have, or one that I thought we needed, to be honest. Especially because she told me she loved me. I was under the impression that she was gone like me—saw things the same way as I did—but her hesitation causes me to hesitate. “Where do you think this is going, Izzy?” I motion between the two of us. “Do you think what we have isn’t something I plan on keeping? That I’m not looking at tomorrow, or next week, next month, fuck, next year without you being a part of my life?”
She shakes her head minutely but doesn’t say anything, like she’s nervous or something.
I roll my lips. “I honestly don’t know why this is a shock to you.” I link my fingers behind my neck, putting pressure there to alleviate some of the tension. “Don’t you know what you do to me? How I feel about you? What you make me feel? Christ, I’m hollow when you’re not close, and even when you are, I can barely breathe unless my hands are on you, and I can feel that you’re in my arms not going anywhere. I’m not afraid of shit, but the thought of losing you is terrifying.”
“Me, too,” she whispers.
“I’ve never felt the way about anyone that I do about you… ever. And I want you so damn bad, but I don’t want to freak you out with how strong my desire for you is, because honestly, Iz, it scares me.”
Chapter 10
Isabel
I should have known, growing up with Gio as a brother, that the biggest, strongest men are the ones with the kindest hearts and gentlest souls. Damien is no different.
He may be alpha and macho and larger than life, but at the end of the day, he’s simply a man who’s had his heart shattered and is just as afraid to fall in love again as anyone else. Especially with someone who brings up feelings he’s never had before.
I need to reassure him that I’m not going anywhere, and that we’re okay, and he’s not going to lose me, so the word vomit begins. “My lease is up in a couple of months. I don’t want to have to renew it for another year, and I love you, and I feel the same way as what you just said, but I didn’t want to seem clingy, so I didn’t bring it up because it’s been less than a month and—”
“It’s been more than a month, Izzy. We’ve been fuckin’ around for well over a year now.”
He’s right. It’s been this intense from the first time we