the past the same."
She shrugged. "Maybe we don't."
He stepped back, trying to get some breathing room. It was always like this with Mariah.
She was intense and she challenged him at every turn. He didn't want tonight to turn into a battle. Or a war.
"This is why I'm not sure we can be friends."
Brushing by him, she marched over to the door and opened it. For a split second, he'd felt the heat of her body and smelled her distinct perfume. It was sultry and spicy and at one point in his life it had made him crazy with lust.
But no more. I'm immune.
Fuck that, who am I kidding? One hour in her company and I'm like a teenage kid again.
"Then you should probably go," she said, still holding the door open. "I'll try and avoid you as much as possible. Good luck with the investigation."
He hesitated for a moment but her expression was clear - he was an asshole. She was done with him...at least for now. This was why he'd ended their relationship. They didn't see things the same way.
"Thank you for dinner," he said, moving toward the door. "I really don't want us to be at each other's throats. I just–"
"Don't want to be friends," she said, finishing his sentence before he could. "Got it. I think you're right. You haven't changed a bit, Ryan, and that's not a good thing. So good night."
He didn't argue. There was no point. Instead he exited her apartment and entered his own, shutting the door behind him. Blowing out a long breath, he leaned back against the door.
The woman made him insane. He couldn't think straight when they were breathing the same air, so close together. His mind got all muddled up and the next thing he knew he was saying shit he never would have if he'd had his head on straight. He hadn't meant to hurt her and he realized that he had. She'd taken his statement about being friends personally when it wasn't about her. It was about him.
He doubted she was going to believe him about that though. Best thing he could do is make sure that they weren't alone again. There was too much...history between them.
History and heat. At least on his side.
He might be digging into the past because of Brad's death but that didn't mean that having any sort of relationship with Mariah was a good idea.
Do a job. Go home. That was the plan.
8
"Your brother is an idiot. A total and complete dumbass."
Mariah was sitting in an outdoor cafe having breakfast with Liza the next day. She'd been simmering all last night and this morning about Ryan's stubborn behavior.
"Good morning to you too," Liza joked, pouring cream into her coffee. "I guess you and Ryan have seen each other then."
"My food was accidentally delivered to him last night," Mariah grumbled, perusing the menu. They had great omelets here. "So I invited him in for dinner. I thought we might be able to be friends. Now I'm wondering what I ever saw in him. He lives in a deep state of denial. He thinks he's not stubborn or super competitive. Can you believe that?"
Liza burst into laughter, her cheeks turning pink. "Of course I can, he's a Beck. For the most part, we're deeply in denial about how our upbringing has affected our psyche. Ryan thinks he's so smart but he's just like the rest of us in so many ways. I can actually hear him telling you that he's not competitive in the least and that winning doesn't matter to him. He believes it, too. At least I can admit it. I hate to lose. More than I like to win. It's a family trait and it was bred into us from the day we were born."
"He thinks his parents don't love him," Mariah went on. "Then he said that I couldn't understand how he felt because my parents were different."
"In a way, he has a point. You can sympathize but you can't empathize. But it's crazy that he thinks Mom and Dad don't love him."
"I know, right? Your parents adore him and he can't see it."
"He can't see that he's just like Dad either."
"I think he does see it, but he's in denial about that, too. I think he's convinced himself that if he left the family and made his own way that somehow he'd magically become different."
They had to pause the conversation as the server took their order. A Denver omelet