normally. He tried to focus on black, on nothingness, on a void of zero. He tried to sleep. That meant putting aside the question of whether the road crew had gotten away on time, the list of things he wanted to accomplish during the Perth stadium inspection, the reminder to have Bodge order more spare parts for the trapeze, Issy’s birthday, and the strangest impression that Rielle had been crying on the back of the bike last night.
They’d not talked at all, just rode through the suburbs and along the beach front. But when she got off Bonne outside her hotel, and handed him the helmet, her face was pale, and she avoided eye contact. He said goodnight to her rigid back as she went through the hotel door. He didn’t get her at all. One minute monster diva, the next clinging to him like it meant something. The only thing he was certain about Rielle Mainline was that she was a born performer on stage and off.
Rielle liked Jonathan, but he talked too much. In the cab, in the lounge, boarding and now in their business class seats, Jonathan talked. He talked band politics, hotels, microphone technique and favourite Perth nightclubs, without needing an air refill. Taller than Rand, Jonathan had long delicate fingers, knobbly wrists and elbows and narrow knees that almost grazed the seat in front. He also had fast flitting eyes and a quick wit. He made it very plain he was interested in hooking up.
She sat in the aisle seat next to Jonathan with Roley across from them. Twice since boarding, Roley had managed to poke her across the expanse of walkway to indicate he was on to Jonathan. More than twice, Rielle had tried to give Jonathan the signal to shut up. She was flicking through the in-flight magazine for the second time when it dawned on her she had a legitimate excuse to escape and avoid having to be direct with him.
Jake was sitting alone in his row at the back of the plane. He had his eyes closed and was gripping both armrests. Rielle could tell by the tension in his hands he wasn’t asleep. She slipped into the empty aisle seat beside him and nodded her thanks to the attendant who’d found him.
It seemed like a great idea to come and check on Jake five minutes ago, but now she was here, she was unsure what to do. It was her fault he was white knuckling it. Maybe it would be smart to just sit here quietly, and after take-off go back to her seat. He might not even notice her.
“Did they boot you out of business?” he said, interrupting her reverie and any hope of sneaking away.
She smiled. “No, I’m being a good little rock diva. I came to check on you.”
He opened one eye and angled it towards her. “I’m alive and not sweating if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“I can see that.”
“Since you’re concerned, it would be better for me if you’d let me tough this out alone.”
“Oh, right.” She unbuckled and stood, but an attendant signalled her sternly with a wagging finger, to sit again. “Ah, I’ll have to stay,” she said, over the sound of the engines revving.
She watched Jake grip the armrest harder. He had both eyes open now, and was breathing deeply. On impulse she put her hand over his and he flipped his palm and wrapped his fingers though hers, holding tightly.
“Thanks,” he mumbled, looking down into his lap. He was embarrassed but he wasn’t letting go.
They stayed that way, hands gripped tightly; forearms pressed together, until take-off completed, the plane levelled out and the intercom opened.
The Captain said, “Folks, we’re expecting some turbulence so we’re going to keep the fasten seat belts sign on and ask you to stay seated for a while. We’ll let you know when it’s safe to move around the cabin.”
“Figures,” said Jake through gritted teeth. He relaxed his hold on her hand, but didn’t let go. “It seems to be my lot in life to have you witness all my moments of weakness.”
“We all have moments, Jake.” He’d certainly been witness to hers. The screaming match on the broken trapeze for one and he had to know she’d been upset last night.
“I can’t imagine you’re scared of anything.”
She said, “Fear is for failures,” but the aircraft was loud, and there was a kid screaming about the end of the world somewhere close by so there was a