most certainly could never be with a man who would want me to.
I sigh while looking into the mirror and take yet another deep, fortifying a deep breath before opening the door.
I walk into our bedroom and sit down next to him on the bed. Noah being Noah pulls me directly into his lap and wraps his arms around me. I snuggle into the crook of his next and inhale his spicy scent.
“Where’s the test?” His voice vibrates his throat, tickling my nose, making me smile.
I grab onto the bottom of his grey t-shirt and start fiddling with it. “On the counter in the bathroom. I set a timer on my phone so that we’ll know when to go in and look.”
I sit on his lap mindlessly playing with his shirt and thinking about everything and nothing all at once.
“What’s going through that beautiful mind of yours, Elle?” His voice is rumbly with me so close to the source.
I smile against his neck. “Where do you want me to start?”
He begins rubbing circles on my back, relaxing muscles that I didn’t even realize were tight. “Start wherever you want to start.” He says simply.
“What if I’m pregnant?” I blurt out like a moron because why would I ease into it? It’s not like my whole world is upside down right now or anything.
“And?” He questions.
“And what?” I lean back and look into his eyes. “Isn’t that enough? I could literally be all preggers right now.”
His eyes are twinkling and I can tell that he’s dying to laugh at me but is a smart enough man to realize that would be a very bad idea. “And if you are all preggers right now?” He chokes out.
“This isn’t funny Noah. I could be carrying our baby right now.” I gasp and cover my mouth with my hands. “Oh my God, I was drinking today. What if I am pregnant and that hurts the baby?” I will never forgive myself if I accidentally harmed our baby.
He loses his battle with his smile. “I’m pretty sure that there’s more alcohol in cooking wine than there is in that shit that you were drinking tonight. I think, as a rule, they just don’t want pregnant women out getting blitzed every night. But we can always ask a doctor if you are pregnant.” He gives me a wink. “What else?”
I rub my hands against my face. “What are we going to do if I am pregnant?” His answer is honestly one of my biggest fears about all of this.
He purses his lips for a second making my heart drop into my stomach. “Well, I figure that we won’t really have to do too much until the last few months when we have to set up the nursery and shit. And once they're born all they do is eat, sleep, and shit. I figure that we won’t really have much to worry about until they’re walking around getting into everything.”
“You would want to keep it?” And me, I add mentally.
He nods his head slowly. “Yeah, would you?”
“Well yeah, but the whole kids’ thing hasn’t really been on the top of our discussion list. I mean, we just moved in together.” I say lamely.
He scratches the back of his neck while giving me a funny look. “Well, I kind of figured that you would move in, we’d eventually, sooner rather than later, get married and then have kids. But if the kids come first, I’m good with that.”
“I just don’t want you to feel like you have to marry me if I am pregnant.” I bite my bottom lip, unable to stop myself.
Noah brings his hand up and caresses my cheek. “Honey, I’d marry you today if you let me.” He says softly before kissing me tenderly.
“Are you sure?” I hiccup a little.
He gives me a smile before placing me down on the bed. I watch as he stands up and walks over to his dresser and opens one of his drawers. When he turns back around he has a tiny black velvet box in his hand.
Annnnnd I’m crying again. Good grief, I probably am pregnant. And that thought makes the tears come down even harder.
“I was planning on doing this after taking you out somewhere for a nice dinner and maybe a walk on the beach. I wanted to have candles set up and rose petals in a filled bathtub.” He gets down on one knee and I’m hyperventilating because I’m now crying so hard. “But it’s