you’re safe.”
I wish the lights would go on! The light keeps dimming on my phone, plunging us back into darkness.
Lacey keeps making the strangled sounds. Not knowing what else to do, I wrap my arms around her and hold her as tight as I can. “You’re safe. Please breathe.” Then I remember that one day I choked on some water. Mom told me to breathe through my nose. “Breathe through your nose,” I say urgently, hoping she’ll listen.
Her hands dig into my shirt and I watch as she struggles to take a breath through her nose. “Again, Sweetheart. Try again,” I whisper. She manages a full breath and then sobs again. “That’s my girl, take another one. You’re doing great.”
She manages another few breaths, all the while clinging to my shirt.
The lights suddenly flicker on, and Lacey closes her eyes against the bright light, another whimper slipping through her lips. I pick her up and hold her close to my chest. “We’re going to my place. I’m not leaving you alone.”
She doesn’t say anything. She just holds onto me.
I carry her past the crowd still standing by the fountain. “What happened?” One of the girls calls out.
“She’s just scared of the dark. Nothing happened,” I say too harshly, but I couldn’t be bothered right now. Calming Lacey and making her feel safe is all I want right now.
~*~
I manage to open the door and as soon as we’re in, I kick it closed behind us. I flip on the light and go sit on the couch with Lacey on my lap.
For a long moment I just hold her, my mind racing with a million thoughts. Lacey needs help, she can’t go on like this!
I hate that man for taking her, for hurting her like this.
“I’m so sorry, Lacey.” I lean my cheek on top of her head and take in the flowery smell that always hangs around her like a soft cloud. She still smells the same. She still feels the same in my arms. I don’t think - I just start to talk. “I hate him for what he did to you and Mom. I don’t know if you heard, but he was sentenced. The judge said they should lock him up and throw away the key. I hope they did.”
“What did he do to your mom?” I hear her small voice.
I thought she knew. I mean, everyone knew all of it. My life was public knowledge. “She was his first victim. He killed her. For the longest time I thought she just left, until he was caught. Aunt Janice is my mom’s sister, she always believed something happened to mom, but I was too young to understand. I was so absorbed in myself.”
Lacey pulls away from me, but stays on my lap. She takes a shuddering breath, looking down at her hands. Her face is red and puffy, but she’s still so beautiful. “Don’t do that, Seth,” she whispers. “Don’t blame yourself for what he did.”
Anger for Dad and what he did flares hot through me. “But I should’ve seen the signs! I could’ve found you sooner if only I opened my eyes.”
She shakes her head and she finally looks up at me. “You were seventeen. We were seventeen! We were only kids. I shouldn’t have gone with him, but…” she drops her eyes back down, “I was so in love with you back then and I wanted him to approve of me.”
I realize that if Lacey didn’t know me she wouldn’t have gone with Dad. “It’s because of me he took you. If you didn’t know me, you wouldn’t have gone near him.”
Her eyes turn wild. “No, Seth! I saw your dad a lot while I waited for the bus in the morning, and whenever I walked past your RV. He would’ve taken me whether we knew each other or not. You had nothing to do with it.”
I smooth some of her hair back and see the truth in her eyes. She really doesn’t blame me for what happened! “I didn’t kiss Paige,” I blurt out.
She frowns lightly and I see a look of hurt flash over her face. “I saw you. I saw her kiss your cheek and then you hugged. I saw her lean in for the kiss.”
“And I pulled away. I told her I was with you,” I smile sadly. “I left her there and went back to your RV to tell you how I felt, that I wanted us to be together.” I