look she had the night I walked her home. I’d do anything to see her cheeks flush and her eyes shimmering with happiness.
I go down on my knees in front of her, careful not to scare her more. She looks like she’s about to jump out of her own skin with fear. It reminds me of how Willow looked when we found her in the woods. I saw what Dad did to Willow but somewhere deep in my mind I refused to believe he did anything to hurt Lacey. I didn’t want to believe it. I wanted to remember Lacey the way she was that day I met her. I have no idea what Dad did to her, and I might never know.
All I know right now is that I’ll have two fear filled faces to keep me up at night. I didn’t have a face to put to Lacey’s fear, until now. She’s no longer the shy girl I met on the beach. It’s a heartbreaking thought. I feel so much loss and sorrow in this moment, it’s as if it all just happened again – I lost Lacey before I had a chance to have her.
“What’s going on,” someone asks. When I look behind me, I see the locker room filling with curious eyes, all trying to get a peek into the store room.
Upset that anyone is seeing Lacey like this, I get up and grab hold of the door. “None of your business!” I snap and slam the door shut.
A whimper from Lacey tears at my heart. I quickly return to her, going down to my knees again. “You’re safe, Lacey,” I say, keeping my voice gentle. “I won’t let anyone hurt you. Never again!”
She has her arms wrapped tightly around her knees. Her dress has fallen back, leaving her smooth white thighs exposed. Her breaths are coming so fast, I’m scared she’s going to hyperventilate.
I can’t stand it anymore and go to sit next to her. I pull her into my arms. Her body stiffens and she shrieks. I do my best to ignore her fear, to not let it overwhelm me, too. I just want to make it all better for her!
She is so small compared to my bigger body it’s easy to pull her onto my lap. I press her against my chest. My hand trembles lightly as I smooth out her dress, so it covers her again. “Let me help you.” I hold her tighter and press my face into her hair. She smells like flowers.
Her shoulders start to shake and then I hear her choke on a sob. I start caressing her hair, just trying to give her some comfort. I don’t know what else to do right now. Maybe it’s a good thing if she cries.
I hold her for a long while. The trembling subsides and soon it’s only a sob every now and then.
The door opens and Coach Herbert frowns at us. I give him a pleading look, hoping he’ll understand.
“Is that Lacey Johnson?” He takes a step into the room and I feel Lacey stiffen all over again.
“She just needs a moment,” I try to cover for her.
Coach looks like he wants to say more. He looks behind him at all the other boys. “Get to the field!” he shouts at them. Lacey’s arms go around my neck, and she flattens her chest against mine, as if she’s trying to crawl inside me. Coach must have noticed it, too, because he gives her a look filled with pity. “Take a moment but don’t miss your next class.”
“Thanks, Coach.” I wait for him to close the door before I ask Lacey. “How are you feeling?”
She hides her face in the crook of my neck and mumbles, “It’s so hard,” she chokes on a sob. “It’s just too hard. I don’t know what to do.”
So many feelings are clogging up my throat. My voice is thick when I whisper, “I don’t know what to do either. I don’t know how to come back from it all.”
She pulls back a little and looks up at me. Her face is so pale, with red patches on her neck and under her eyes. “Really?” she asks, her voice very small.
I nod, so glad that’s she’s talking to me. I quickly continue so she won’t pull away from me. “Sometimes it feels like I’m drowning. I feel guilty for what he did. Sometimes it’s all so hard to believe.”
Her eyes focus on my collar and